Lap Dancing

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

These places have been on my 'blogs to write about' list for some time. However, the latest proposals from our Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith (more on this another time) prompt me to write now.

Can't say that these places do a lot for me but then maybe that's because I've only been a few times and then to decent ones. Ford introduced me to my first, BTS on Michigan Avenue, Dearborn, Detroit back in 1987. Bright, noisy, expensive but seemingly clean. The girls were topless, gyrating on stage and doing the pole dancing thing. For $10 or so, they come down and do a dance just a few feet away from you. They would also just come down for a chat and a drink at your expense. Most turned out to be at college and many were quite interesting. It all seemed pretty harmless although I was disturbed by some of the solitary drinkers around me who seemd to taking the whole thing far too seriously.

Second time was in 1988, also to BT's, when a group of us from work attended the SAE Congress. So I took them along thinking it might entertain them which it did. Halfway through the evening, a mini boxing ring was set up on stage and customers were invited to bid to oil-wrestle with one of the girls. My boss won but then sent me on to do the business. Well, I am game for anything. Off to the manager's office where I met the girl and was told it was to be all fun and then I changed to boxer shorts.

Out into the ring where we each sprayed the other with oil and then set off on 3 x 3 minute round. The MC made a big point that I was 'David from England' It was all quite hilarious as we made a mock fight, each as slippery as eels. In the last round, there many shouts of 'get her bra off,' and me being one not to satify an audience, pulled her bra up, something she hadn't been using all night anyway. The fight was stopped, the MC said that 'David from England' had been 'naughty' and was to be punished. The girl was given a bucket of ice and water which she promptly poured down the inside of my boxer shorts to the amusement of all. The remains of the round were fought and then it was off to the manager's office for a shower and a change. I got thanked for being entertaining and got a signed poster from the girl. Everyone seemed happy.

After that I was plied with drinks all evening and we moved on to another club, the Landing Strip at Romulus, near the airport. Not so nice and since I was totally drunk, I tried to climb onto the stage. Dragged off by a bouncer and saved by my friends.

And that was that until 1995. Done that, read the book, seen the movie. But I changed employer.

Back at SAE Congress 1995, I introduced my new colleagues to BTS. Oil wrestling had gone - 'too many pervs', the manager said. However, several of my new colleagues got a taste for it and went back night after night. I wouldn't join them so I was called 'a boring old fart.' No matter. They even went back year after year.

And then the is the Doll House in Raleigh, NC, near our US factory. Got dragged along by two colleagues because I had nothing better to do. Big and glitzy but I thought the girls were less warm and friendly. The guy who was going to drive us back to the hotel got rat-arsed so I left early and took a cab. Had enough of it all anyway.

Don't what UK ones are like but the American ones seemed harmless enough and the girls seemed to be enjoying themselves just like those pretty ones in Hooter's.