Daniel

Daniel William Oates is my second grandson. He will be 2 years old on October 7th when I shall be far away in China which is a pity. Daniel is cool, an overused word but entirely appropriate for this little man. Nothing fazes this little guy, almost always happy (cept when he's shit his pants). He's anybody's - happy to be held and cuddled by anyone. He seems to have no fear, looks like a little thug, which my son did at his age. This is Daniel unhappy. Life's a shit Daniel but you will get bye.

Presentations

For many years, I was terrified about making a presentation. Sure, I had been on the courses but that only told me how to do it; it did not cure the fear. On the rare occasions, I did one, people said I was OK but I never felt so. Every time, I was shaking.

Then in the late 80’s, I got a job where I knew that presentations would crop up frequently. Sharp intake of breath, swallow and thinking of how to go forward. I suppose it’s like facing any irrational phobia really – only way to cure it is to face up to it. So I completely reversed my historic attitude and sought every opportunity to speak to an audience.

I remembered the lessons I had been taught, chief amongst them being preparation and practice. It does not matter how long it is, you must rehearse it and rehearse it to the point that you know what you are going to say without reference to your slides. I used to practise mine at my office window chatting to the green woodpecker. He never complained, indeed he seemed almost interested but I doubted him.

In my life, I have coined two phrases with regard to making a good presentation:

‘Never let the facts get in the way of a good presentation.’

‘Bugger the truth, I want impact.’

And that’s it really. A presentation is a selling job be it ideas or products, concepts or dreams.

But never forget, you have to give people dreams.

Life and Cefn Onn Primary

I see my life as being made up of four phases:

Infancy
Education
Work
Retirement

They have all been good on the whole but the best is yet to be even if I drop dead tomorrow.

As you pass from one phase to the next, you pick up new things and drop off old things – people and ambitions.

Right now I am totally absorbed with the little children of Cefn Onn Primary school. I am fighting to keep it alive but it is much more than that for I am looking to the future. I want these children to be great and I shall hound everybody to make them be so.

I want this school and the kids to be a shining beacon of what can be done with love, thought and attention.

And that is why this blog has been neglected. These kids are more important.

CDC

This is the centre for disease control and it based in Atlanta. In my opinion, it is the best in the world. So if you are going to travel, go there first and get the latest advice.

I use it lots

Being white, male and English

We live in an age where one is not supposed to discriminate against others on the grounds of race, religion or sex (well gender as it is now called). I am OK with all that. However there is one segment of society that is exempt from this protection and I am one of them. The Americans used to call them WASP’s – White Anglo-Saxon Protestants. I fit that even though I have moved on from Protestantism to atheism. I do however have two further attributes that disqualify me from the protection of the law: I am English and male.

So what does this mean in the eyes of others?

I was born white so that means I am probably racist.

I am male so that means I feel superior and have both exploited women and suppressed their advancement.

I was born English so that means I have exploited the planet and its people.

I can be called a ‘pom’ by an Aussie but Prince Harry cannot call a colleague a ‘Paki’

I was born poor so that means I am a victim of class discrimination. Did I notice it? Yeah, vaguely but I got over it.

I went to a grammar school so therefore I was privileged

I am cleverer than most so I must be a ‘smart arse’.

I adore kids but it don’t make me a paedophile. Kids are the future of this world

I have been moderately successful so that means I have been lucky.

I don't believe in God but I respect the Bible. Glasgow is offering people to write obscenities on it. Let them offer up the same to the Koran and see where that gets them.

I plead not guilty on every count and you know what?

I do not give a fuck.

Do I care? Hell no! I am just trying to illustrate the crap that pervades our media for I have met real people and not had the shit I have outlined above.

Being a barrow boy

My last boss always said that I missed my vocation: I should have been a street market seller, you know, a barrow boy. To be honest, I’d have loved it.

There you have a pile of goods in front of you and an interested audience – the ultimate opportunity to be a showman and none more so than in front of women. I adore women every shape, every size, every age. Dun care if they are 3 or 93, they all have charm.

Pick up a bundle of towels. Watch their faces. Look them in the eye.

‘Yeah, I know they look expensive, darling, they ought to be, they are Egyptian cotton (which they are not) and I’m down to my last 6.’

Pick someone who is smiling.

‘Imagine a rub down with these after a shower, darling?’ ‘Woops, better not tell the missus, I said that.’

‘And while, I am talking about the missus, she is nagging me to go down West tonight and I haven’t got the dosh. So please my lovelys, please buy something today or I’ll be in real trouble.’

‘You my lovely, how much? I know you’re thinking 50 quid and their worth every penny.’ 'But for you darling cus you are pretty, not even 20, give me 10.'

It’s important here to get a nod from someone.

Heavens, wish I'd done this.

Growing up

At 35, my son is starting to talk to me about subjects that lose me. Don’t you think that that is rather wonderful? It's rather grand when your kids beat you.

Of course, he loses me in his specialism which is Civil Engineering and that’s quite understandable. I guess I could still lose him in Chemistry which was mine.

Being strong

Watched a TV programme tonight about one man’s pursuit of the whale, inspired by Melville’s Moby Dick. It finished with him swimming with Sperm Whales in the sea off the Azores. They took a look at him: he took a look at them. Neither was frightened.

That’s it reality but equally it is strange. When you feel strong, you are not really frightened but maybe you are wary and nervous. Maybe you display confidence, I do not know. Whales have never frightened me despite their size. They just seem to know. Same with the Mountain Gorilla and even the Lions.

It’s people that frighten me.

Sorry

Been distracted. So now I shall start again.