Monday, December 22nd, 2008
There were loads of adverts for this when I was a kid so I asked my mother if we could try it. We did and I found it to be truly disgusting. My opinion has never changed.
Monday 22 December 2008
Sunday 21 December 2008
We are stark raving mad
Sunday, December 21st, 2008
Completely bloody bananas we are. Let me walk you through the first few pages of today's Sunday Times:
Page 1. Chris Hoy who cycled to 3 gold medals in this year's Olympics has been nominated for a knighthood in the New Year. Now I am not fond of Honours at the best of times but I let them pass in most cases because many of the recipients have done something of public good. Last week Mr. Hoy was voted as 'BBC Sports Personality of the Year', plainly by people who cannot distinguish charisma from a brick. Nice lad and I am glad he was successful but as for the rest, well, tosh.
Page 2. This is far more serious. Our silly Government is now proposing to give bailiffs the right to break into people's homes if they are in debt. It gets worse: they will be given permission to 'restrain or pin down householders' and seize property to pay off debts. The comforting thing in all this is that the bailiffs will not be allowed to search your pockets nor take jewellery off your person. Presumably you could do them for sexual assault over that. (I think it was Rodney Dangerfield who said, 'If it wasn't for pickpockets and airport security, I'd have no sex life at all.) Oh and they are not allowed to enter empty property BUT they are given the right to enter if, inter alia, they see the 'movement of a curtain' or other hints of occupancy.
I'd like to meet the bastards with a samurai.
Page 4. We now find that a homeless family has been rehoused, free of charge, in a £2m + property in Kensington & Chelsea (swanky part of London for those who don't know it) where the rent alone would be £1,755/week. Couldn't find anything cheaper is the local council's excuse.
Page 4. Not content with poking their noses into pretty much everything, the EU is now planning to set quotas on sea anglers. As per bloody usual, the research has been rolled out to show just what a danger they pose. Florida State Uni has said that sea anglers pose the largest human threat for many species in America. Yeah well, I am sure they do; it's all that tuna, you know.
Meanwhile, commercial fisherman dump their catches for fear of going over their limits.
Page 6. Royal Bank of Scotland who recently got a mere £20 billion of state aid, are now telling clients who have made the slightest error in their repayments (like one month overdue) to pay off their entire mortgage in 30 days or get evicted.
Page 6. The Duke of Sutherland has flogged us Titian's painting, Diana and Acteon for the trifling sum of £100m. Yes it may be a great work of art but in this day and age, we could have done a decent reproduction of it at a fraction of the price. Who would have bought it anyaway except us poor mugs? America is broke so maybe Dubai. Oh, woops, they are broke too.
I could go on but you'll think I am going over the top. The one little piece of sanity I observed in this whole comic, related to what you and I have known all along - most academic research comes up with the bleeding obvious. Just a few examples before you fall asleep:
- University of Alberta reports that students who watch junk food adverts are more likely to eat snacks and put on weight.
- Cambridge University reports that impulsive, risk-taking and thrill seeking drug takers are more likely to become addicts
- Oxford University found that we get irritated when call centre people use our name and try to be friendly
And finally, and this has to be Ph.D material, Penn State Uni noted that parents whose kids will not eat vegetables could succeed by disguising them in other dishes by mushing them up.
I despair.
Completely bloody bananas we are. Let me walk you through the first few pages of today's Sunday Times:
Page 1. Chris Hoy who cycled to 3 gold medals in this year's Olympics has been nominated for a knighthood in the New Year. Now I am not fond of Honours at the best of times but I let them pass in most cases because many of the recipients have done something of public good. Last week Mr. Hoy was voted as 'BBC Sports Personality of the Year', plainly by people who cannot distinguish charisma from a brick. Nice lad and I am glad he was successful but as for the rest, well, tosh.
Page 2. This is far more serious. Our silly Government is now proposing to give bailiffs the right to break into people's homes if they are in debt. It gets worse: they will be given permission to 'restrain or pin down householders' and seize property to pay off debts. The comforting thing in all this is that the bailiffs will not be allowed to search your pockets nor take jewellery off your person. Presumably you could do them for sexual assault over that. (I think it was Rodney Dangerfield who said, 'If it wasn't for pickpockets and airport security, I'd have no sex life at all.) Oh and they are not allowed to enter empty property BUT they are given the right to enter if, inter alia, they see the 'movement of a curtain' or other hints of occupancy.
I'd like to meet the bastards with a samurai.
Page 4. We now find that a homeless family has been rehoused, free of charge, in a £2m + property in Kensington & Chelsea (swanky part of London for those who don't know it) where the rent alone would be £1,755/week. Couldn't find anything cheaper is the local council's excuse.
Page 4. Not content with poking their noses into pretty much everything, the EU is now planning to set quotas on sea anglers. As per bloody usual, the research has been rolled out to show just what a danger they pose. Florida State Uni has said that sea anglers pose the largest human threat for many species in America. Yeah well, I am sure they do; it's all that tuna, you know.
Meanwhile, commercial fisherman dump their catches for fear of going over their limits.
Page 6. Royal Bank of Scotland who recently got a mere £20 billion of state aid, are now telling clients who have made the slightest error in their repayments (like one month overdue) to pay off their entire mortgage in 30 days or get evicted.
Page 6. The Duke of Sutherland has flogged us Titian's painting, Diana and Acteon for the trifling sum of £100m. Yes it may be a great work of art but in this day and age, we could have done a decent reproduction of it at a fraction of the price. Who would have bought it anyaway except us poor mugs? America is broke so maybe Dubai. Oh, woops, they are broke too.
I could go on but you'll think I am going over the top. The one little piece of sanity I observed in this whole comic, related to what you and I have known all along - most academic research comes up with the bleeding obvious. Just a few examples before you fall asleep:
- University of Alberta reports that students who watch junk food adverts are more likely to eat snacks and put on weight.
- Cambridge University reports that impulsive, risk-taking and thrill seeking drug takers are more likely to become addicts
- Oxford University found that we get irritated when call centre people use our name and try to be friendly
And finally, and this has to be Ph.D material, Penn State Uni noted that parents whose kids will not eat vegetables could succeed by disguising them in other dishes by mushing them up.
I despair.
Humpback whales
Sunday, December 21st, 2008
All whales are worth watching but humpbacks are really exciting for they get very close to your boat and leap out of the water from time to time.
I found the leaping bit very hard to catch given the shutter lag on my digital camera. So here you get two swimming alongside the boat and one leaping on Christmas Eve. Typical weight is around 37 tons so you are watching a big truck.
All whales are worth watching but humpbacks are really exciting for they get very close to your boat and leap out of the water from time to time.
I found the leaping bit very hard to catch given the shutter lag on my digital camera. So here you get two swimming alongside the boat and one leaping on Christmas Eve. Typical weight is around 37 tons so you are watching a big truck.
Pluto New Horizons
Sunday, December 21st, 2008
I know most of you don't give a damn but I do for as I said before, my name and the names of those I love dearly are on this spacecraft. Well right now, it is almost 1067 days out from Earth with about 2302 days to go before it encounters Pluto.
On Dec 16th, it was put to sleep after 4 months of testing and downloading software upgrades. So silently, it glides between the orbits of Saturn and Uranus doing about 11 miles per second and will not be reawakened until July 2009.
People sometimes tell me that I am impatient. Impatient? I have waited patiently for this for a lifetime.
I know most of you don't give a damn but I do for as I said before, my name and the names of those I love dearly are on this spacecraft. Well right now, it is almost 1067 days out from Earth with about 2302 days to go before it encounters Pluto.
On Dec 16th, it was put to sleep after 4 months of testing and downloading software upgrades. So silently, it glides between the orbits of Saturn and Uranus doing about 11 miles per second and will not be reawakened until July 2009.
People sometimes tell me that I am impatient. Impatient? I have waited patiently for this for a lifetime.
Having a scientific education
Sunday, December 21st, 2008
Almost daily, I thank my God (cept I don’t have one) for my scientific education. It isn’t just the knowledge, it’s the discipline. Oh sure, any of you reading my blogs will point out errors of judgement or fact. I am only human. But I do like to think that mostly, I think in a structured and disciplined way.
However when you come to the arts, you can dip into them at any time of life. Maybe you do not have the deep sense of understanding that is possessed by a history graduate but you can still read a book on the American Civil War and understand it. You cannot do that, in the main, with Physics, even though Stephen Hawking has tried to bring it to the living room.
Same but in a different way with art itself. Oh OK I have no conception of da Vinci’s underlying message (and I seriously doubt if he had one) but I can still get that frisson of pleasure from his paintings. If you ain’t got a scientific education, then quantum mechanics is meaningless.
Then you get the pseudo sciences like psychology. I am not having a go at them but I do wonder if they have the rigour of pure science. Did one of those personality assessments once. One of my highest ratings was on ‘behaviourism’ and by this they meant the extent that I considered the behaviour of others when making decisions about people. That makes a lot of sense. When dealing with people, I never forget that they have priorities which are different to mine. I watch them and try to find out what is important to them. And, yes, I am sometimes guilty of exploiting this and manipulating them. BUT, I never judge nor do I seek to understand. I just leave the psychologist to find out if they fucked their mother. It is none of my business.
Is economics a science? There are days when I think it is close to alchemy. Oh yes, it is heavily mathematical but it’s like the weather. There are simply too many variables to deal with so that makes modelling difficult. Worse still, economics involves people behaviour and who can model that on anything but an individual scale?
Much of science still loses me but I can cope. At least I know P=IV and can therefore select the right fuse.
Jackdaws
Sunday, December 21st, 2008
Jackdaws are small members of the crow family. I think they are cute. They come in a blend of shaded blacks and I find that attractive. Like all crows, they are smart too.
My first encounter with a jackdaw was as a child when a guy down the road had one as a pet. It could talk too.
Later, I read the book 'King Solomon's Ring' by Konrad Lorenz. He studied them deeply and found out much about them. They mate for life and have a well organised social structure. Interestingly, he discovered that the number 1 pair would bollock the number 2 pair but never any of the lower orders. Seemingly, you reserved your bollocking only for the next tier.
Then he moves on to an endearing story. It would seem that the no. 1 male lost his partner and picked like a no. 54 female to be his new mate. Well , she was intoxicated by her new status and went round pecking everyone in sight. Ok, revenge for previous abuse but a bitch nonetheless.
We had much grass where I worked and ponds too. Every now and again, a jackdaw flock would descend and look for food. If you watched them carefully, you could discern the pairings. If you walked outside, they would tolerate you getting close but not too close.
(And if you are thinking why was I not working, then remember, that there are times when the brain needs a break and that makes you better for later.)
Jackdaws are small members of the crow family. I think they are cute. They come in a blend of shaded blacks and I find that attractive. Like all crows, they are smart too.
My first encounter with a jackdaw was as a child when a guy down the road had one as a pet. It could talk too.
Later, I read the book 'King Solomon's Ring' by Konrad Lorenz. He studied them deeply and found out much about them. They mate for life and have a well organised social structure. Interestingly, he discovered that the number 1 pair would bollock the number 2 pair but never any of the lower orders. Seemingly, you reserved your bollocking only for the next tier.
Then he moves on to an endearing story. It would seem that the no. 1 male lost his partner and picked like a no. 54 female to be his new mate. Well , she was intoxicated by her new status and went round pecking everyone in sight. Ok, revenge for previous abuse but a bitch nonetheless.
We had much grass where I worked and ponds too. Every now and again, a jackdaw flock would descend and look for food. If you watched them carefully, you could discern the pairings. If you walked outside, they would tolerate you getting close but not too close.
(And if you are thinking why was I not working, then remember, that there are times when the brain needs a break and that makes you better for later.)
Saturday 20 December 2008
The Milgram experiment
Saturday, December 20th, 2008
Saw this years ago but the Times reminded me today. I do love that newspaper.
Back in 1961, Stanley Milgram, a researcher conducted an experiment in the way people could follow orders even when they knew they were inflicting serious harm on others. Basically, an actor was set up in a separate room and was to play the role of student. The 'guinea pig' for the experiment was asked to play the role of teacher and ask the student questions. If the student got them wrong, then he got zapped with an ever increasing voltage going up to 450v. In the background, was the experimenter who would offer soothing words to the teacher.
Many of the teachers had qualms about the bigger voltages but the experimenter soothingly told them to continue and they did. They continued to zap people long after the student failed to respond. Some expressed concern but were told to continue and most did. The 'Students' screamed and cried but the experiment continued
Many people condemned the experiment - unethical and other crap - but I thought it provided a useful insight into the obedience of authority. It may explain some of the aspects of Nazi behaviour.
Well, the experient has been replicated recently albeit not quite the same. And the results are no different.
But what the Times failed to mention was a book I once read, 'The Human Factor in Aircraft Accidents.' There is a whole chapter in there relating to incidents where the Second Officer told the pilot that he was doing something daft and then acquiescing to the point of doom.
Quite honestly, I found nothing remarkable about the outcome of the experiment. You can control almost anybody if you have a will. Well not me you can't cus I am just bloody minded.
Saw this years ago but the Times reminded me today. I do love that newspaper.
Back in 1961, Stanley Milgram, a researcher conducted an experiment in the way people could follow orders even when they knew they were inflicting serious harm on others. Basically, an actor was set up in a separate room and was to play the role of student. The 'guinea pig' for the experiment was asked to play the role of teacher and ask the student questions. If the student got them wrong, then he got zapped with an ever increasing voltage going up to 450v. In the background, was the experimenter who would offer soothing words to the teacher.
Many of the teachers had qualms about the bigger voltages but the experimenter soothingly told them to continue and they did. They continued to zap people long after the student failed to respond. Some expressed concern but were told to continue and most did. The 'Students' screamed and cried but the experiment continued
Many people condemned the experiment - unethical and other crap - but I thought it provided a useful insight into the obedience of authority. It may explain some of the aspects of Nazi behaviour.
Well, the experient has been replicated recently albeit not quite the same. And the results are no different.
But what the Times failed to mention was a book I once read, 'The Human Factor in Aircraft Accidents.' There is a whole chapter in there relating to incidents where the Second Officer told the pilot that he was doing something daft and then acquiescing to the point of doom.
Quite honestly, I found nothing remarkable about the outcome of the experiment. You can control almost anybody if you have a will. Well not me you can't cus I am just bloody minded.
The Maid of the Seas
Saturday, December 20th, 2008
Tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of the crash of PanAm 103 over Lockerbie in Scotland. I think about it from time to time. At the time, 1903 at night, I was unaware of it but I learned in the morning. Our boss called a group of us into his office and told us that a colleague had died on it.
His name was Greg Kosmowski and he was our US Marketing Manager based in Troy, a part of greater Detroit. I was never close to Greg and only that day I had a big argument with him about his cross charges for US office support. Understandably, they were never resolved.
Greg was a devout Christian and father but he did not need to take that flight. He wanted to be home as soon as poss to see his kids so he took that flight to JFK and from there he could get a connection to Detroit which might have got him home soon after midnight.
Jim somebody, his colleague, stayed overnight in London and went home the following day.
Such is life and there but for the grace of God ...........
Tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of the crash of PanAm 103 over Lockerbie in Scotland. I think about it from time to time. At the time, 1903 at night, I was unaware of it but I learned in the morning. Our boss called a group of us into his office and told us that a colleague had died on it.
His name was Greg Kosmowski and he was our US Marketing Manager based in Troy, a part of greater Detroit. I was never close to Greg and only that day I had a big argument with him about his cross charges for US office support. Understandably, they were never resolved.
Greg was a devout Christian and father but he did not need to take that flight. He wanted to be home as soon as poss to see his kids so he took that flight to JFK and from there he could get a connection to Detroit which might have got him home soon after midnight.
Jim somebody, his colleague, stayed overnight in London and went home the following day.
Such is life and there but for the grace of God ...........
Tissue reprogramming
Saturday, December 20th, 2008
The journal 'Science' has described tissue reprogramming as the greatest scientific advance of the year. I am with them on that.
Scientists in Japan and the USA have found ways of reversing cell development and making them go back to the stem cells of the embryo. (Remember my question of how the body stops growing?) Now stem cells are the very start of our existence and are completely undifferentiated. They can become anything - toenails, lungs, eyes - and they can be used in so many healing ways and just might let us sort things like Parkinson's disease and diabetes.
Of course, there are trials to go but if they go well, this means that we can have stem cells freely available and will no longer have to nick them from embryos.
I do think that this is wonderful.
The journal 'Science' has described tissue reprogramming as the greatest scientific advance of the year. I am with them on that.
Scientists in Japan and the USA have found ways of reversing cell development and making them go back to the stem cells of the embryo. (Remember my question of how the body stops growing?) Now stem cells are the very start of our existence and are completely undifferentiated. They can become anything - toenails, lungs, eyes - and they can be used in so many healing ways and just might let us sort things like Parkinson's disease and diabetes.
Of course, there are trials to go but if they go well, this means that we can have stem cells freely available and will no longer have to nick them from embryos.
I do think that this is wonderful.
Dorothy Parker
Saturday, December 20th, 2008
Dorothy Parker was an American writer and critic. For me and I suspect, for many, the enduring memory of her has to be her caustic wit. Just a brief sample of my favourites:
Someone once stepped aside to let her through a door saying, 'Age before beauty,' to which she replied, 'Thank you, pearls before swine.'
'This is not a book to be put aside lightly. It should be hurled with great force.'
And when she was told of the death of Calvin Coolidge (although some say it was Woodrow Wilson), she said 'How can they tell?'
'If you want know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.'
And the one that sums me up:
'The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.'
Dorothy Parker was an American writer and critic. For me and I suspect, for many, the enduring memory of her has to be her caustic wit. Just a brief sample of my favourites:
Someone once stepped aside to let her through a door saying, 'Age before beauty,' to which she replied, 'Thank you, pearls before swine.'
'This is not a book to be put aside lightly. It should be hurled with great force.'
And when she was told of the death of Calvin Coolidge (although some say it was Woodrow Wilson), she said 'How can they tell?'
'If you want know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.'
And the one that sums me up:
'The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.'
The 'British' car industry
Saturday, December 20th, 2008
In the wake of Dubya's loans to the American Big Three, our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has told our car industry that it ain't getting any state aid. I must be getting dementia or something. Not only did I agree with his Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, a few weeks ago but now I find myself agreeing with Mr 'No Charisma'. This is quite worrying.
I do think he is right. What 'British' car industry are we talking about here? You mean the one that is almost entirely foreign owned? Let their foreign parents bail them out; they are all too quick to axe British jobs when it suits them.
Strange isn't it but at my time of life, people expect one to get more right wing. I think I am going pink. Tata, a giant Indian company wants some help now that it has bought Jaguar and Land Rover while H R Owen, a dealer, says sales of Alfa Romeos and Lamborghinis have plummeted as City bankers cut back on spending. Christ, it's only 9 days since they hosted a party for 200 Lambo drivers.
And it's only three days ago, that Tata announced that it was backing the Ferrari Formula 1 team and that's just days after Honda pulled out of F1 saying that it could not afford it. Well in Honda's case, the real reason was probably that their team was fucking useless but you do have to wonder what Tata take us for. Raving bloody imbeciles?
My message to the lot of them would be just the same as Marie Antoinette's - Let them eat cake.
In the wake of Dubya's loans to the American Big Three, our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has told our car industry that it ain't getting any state aid. I must be getting dementia or something. Not only did I agree with his Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, a few weeks ago but now I find myself agreeing with Mr 'No Charisma'. This is quite worrying.
I do think he is right. What 'British' car industry are we talking about here? You mean the one that is almost entirely foreign owned? Let their foreign parents bail them out; they are all too quick to axe British jobs when it suits them.
Strange isn't it but at my time of life, people expect one to get more right wing. I think I am going pink. Tata, a giant Indian company wants some help now that it has bought Jaguar and Land Rover while H R Owen, a dealer, says sales of Alfa Romeos and Lamborghinis have plummeted as City bankers cut back on spending. Christ, it's only 9 days since they hosted a party for 200 Lambo drivers.
And it's only three days ago, that Tata announced that it was backing the Ferrari Formula 1 team and that's just days after Honda pulled out of F1 saying that it could not afford it. Well in Honda's case, the real reason was probably that their team was fucking useless but you do have to wonder what Tata take us for. Raving bloody imbeciles?
My message to the lot of them would be just the same as Marie Antoinette's - Let them eat cake.
Friday 19 December 2008
Cooking Pheasants
Friday, December 19th, 2008
Scour the Internet and your cookery books and there are zillions of recipes for cooking pheasants but, heavens, so many are so complicated. You can roast them simply if you wish and that's fine. But today, with time on my hands, I tried out an idea of my own.
First used the poultry shears to cut out the backbone. Then I splayed it, chopped down the breast bone and then I cut it half. Slapped it in a dish and threw in olive oil, lemon juice, sliced mushrooms and sliced baby spuds, parboiled. Chucked in finely sliced sping onions (scallions, America), smashed garlic and the usual salt and pepper. Left it for hours.
Finally before cooking, I browned the pheasant pieces in the frying pan before throwing the lot in the oven at around 180C or so for 30 mins. It turned out to be fine although the pheasant was a little dry. I'd try 20 - 25 minutes next time.
I guess I once saw cooking as I saw chemistry. You know 5 mls of olive oil no different from titrate 50 mls of o.1N sodium hydroxide. But I learned that Madhur Jaffrey uses far to much oil for my taste and you need far less black beans than any recipe suggests. So I still look at recipes but I have matured and now I do it my way. That's good for I have always done most things, 'My Way,' although I cannot stand Frank Sinatra
Scour the Internet and your cookery books and there are zillions of recipes for cooking pheasants but, heavens, so many are so complicated. You can roast them simply if you wish and that's fine. But today, with time on my hands, I tried out an idea of my own.
First used the poultry shears to cut out the backbone. Then I splayed it, chopped down the breast bone and then I cut it half. Slapped it in a dish and threw in olive oil, lemon juice, sliced mushrooms and sliced baby spuds, parboiled. Chucked in finely sliced sping onions (scallions, America), smashed garlic and the usual salt and pepper. Left it for hours.
Finally before cooking, I browned the pheasant pieces in the frying pan before throwing the lot in the oven at around 180C or so for 30 mins. It turned out to be fine although the pheasant was a little dry. I'd try 20 - 25 minutes next time.
I guess I once saw cooking as I saw chemistry. You know 5 mls of olive oil no different from titrate 50 mls of o.1N sodium hydroxide. But I learned that Madhur Jaffrey uses far to much oil for my taste and you need far less black beans than any recipe suggests. So I still look at recipes but I have matured and now I do it my way. That's good for I have always done most things, 'My Way,' although I cannot stand Frank Sinatra
Thursday 18 December 2008
My son's bridge
Thursday, December 18th, 2008
This is my son's bridge. It is not a big one but do you not think it is beautiful? It is a footbridge and spans the River Aire in Leeds. It is called the Whitehall Bridge. It was sketched out by his boss but he did not have to make his concept reality: my son did that. Peter designed it and specified all the details. That makes it his bridge. Can you imagine how proud I am?
This is my son's bridge. It is not a big one but do you not think it is beautiful? It is a footbridge and spans the River Aire in Leeds. It is called the Whitehall Bridge. It was sketched out by his boss but he did not have to make his concept reality: my son did that. Peter designed it and specified all the details. That makes it his bridge. Can you imagine how proud I am?
Our wobbly bridge
Thursday, December 18th, 2008
Back in 200o, we opened a new bridge across the River Thames in London, the first new bridge to cross the Thames in more than a century. It's a foot bridge and I rather like it. It was beautifully sited and lead you from the Tate Modern Gallery in a straight line across the river to a road leading up to St. Paul's Cathedral.
Needless to say, we fucked it as we did with Heathrow Terminal 5 and the Millennium Dome and as we shall surely do with the 2012 Olympics. Within 3 days of opening, it was shut and only opened 20 months later after £5 million had been spent on modifications. The damn thing only cost £18 miliion in the first place.
The problem, of course, was not the design but you and me. At the time, so theory went, we all walked across synchronously thereby inducing a terrific wobble that caused the bridge to sway, hence it's popular name.
Well today, after much research, a civil engineer has declared that the problem was not down to synchronous walking but it was more about the way we walked so you and me still get the blame. Seemingly, if the bloody bridge moves a little to one side (almost imperceptibly) we adjust our gait to compensate and this gives a little more energy to the bridge so it sways more. I'd think that was rather natural.
What puzzles me is that the guy says that the effect is widely known so why did the designers not compensate for that at the outset?
Maybe, we should test the modifications further like having a mom's egg & spoon race across it or even everyone hopping up and down. It doesn't really matter, we never learn.
Back in 200o, we opened a new bridge across the River Thames in London, the first new bridge to cross the Thames in more than a century. It's a foot bridge and I rather like it. It was beautifully sited and lead you from the Tate Modern Gallery in a straight line across the river to a road leading up to St. Paul's Cathedral.
Needless to say, we fucked it as we did with Heathrow Terminal 5 and the Millennium Dome and as we shall surely do with the 2012 Olympics. Within 3 days of opening, it was shut and only opened 20 months later after £5 million had been spent on modifications. The damn thing only cost £18 miliion in the first place.The problem, of course, was not the design but you and me. At the time, so theory went, we all walked across synchronously thereby inducing a terrific wobble that caused the bridge to sway, hence it's popular name.
Well today, after much research, a civil engineer has declared that the problem was not down to synchronous walking but it was more about the way we walked so you and me still get the blame. Seemingly, if the bloody bridge moves a little to one side (almost imperceptibly) we adjust our gait to compensate and this gives a little more energy to the bridge so it sways more. I'd think that was rather natural.
What puzzles me is that the guy says that the effect is widely known so why did the designers not compensate for that at the outset?
Maybe, we should test the modifications further like having a mom's egg & spoon race across it or even everyone hopping up and down. It doesn't really matter, we never learn.
Wednesday 17 December 2008
Bruckner's 8th Symphony
Wednesday, December 17th, 2008
Always loved this symphony from the day I very first heard it. It has such majesty. And especially I adored the 4th movement although it was many years later when I finally understood why.
It was a documentary series by Andre Previn in which he sought to analyse several pieces of what he saw as great music. I am not really interested in musical analysis; I prefer to live with my own images. But one time he chose Bruckner's 8th. The point he made about the 4th movement was its completeness. And then I saw it! In that movement, Bruckner sought to express all the sounds of the other 3 movements, explore them, twist them, reshape them and then combine them in a torrent of sound which to me sounds like glacial waterfalls cascading over rocks.
It is sublime.
Always loved this symphony from the day I very first heard it. It has such majesty. And especially I adored the 4th movement although it was many years later when I finally understood why.
It was a documentary series by Andre Previn in which he sought to analyse several pieces of what he saw as great music. I am not really interested in musical analysis; I prefer to live with my own images. But one time he chose Bruckner's 8th. The point he made about the 4th movement was its completeness. And then I saw it! In that movement, Bruckner sought to express all the sounds of the other 3 movements, explore them, twist them, reshape them and then combine them in a torrent of sound which to me sounds like glacial waterfalls cascading over rocks.
It is sublime.
Imperial measurements
Wednesday, December 17th, 2008
Having a scientific background, I am quite happy with metric measurements in the lab but I was raised at home on imperial units. It's a strange paradox which lives with me to this day - for liquids like water, I think in centigrade but for air temperatures, Fahrenheit makes more sense. It is worse with weight, kilos mean nothing, total pounds not much more; I am a stones and pounds man. And yes I know that one metre is 39.37 inches but I am not interested.
Our units of measurement go back centuries. In 1215, King John agreed to have a standard set of weights and measures when he agreed to Magna Carta and in 1352, Edward III set the stone at 14 lb. And as I recall from my history, in those days, France was not a specially united kingdom and indeed, we owned much of it. Germany was what? Well the Romans called the area Germania but it wasn't even remotely a nation then. You can see that on Gladiator - crowd of wallies in bearskins and horned helmets. Nationhood had to wait for Bismark in the 19th century.
Yet these bastards and other 'Johnny come lately's' in the European Union told us in 1995 that we had to label things in metric units although as a concession to the Brits, they allowed us to use imperial as well. BUT the metric was mandatory and if you didn't use it, you got prosecuted. Why I shall never know. We should just have taken the French attitude to EU legislation - use it when it suits us, ignore it if it doesn't.
Guess it was German revenge for whacking them in WWII and French revenge for liberating them when they patently could not do it for themselves.
Word is that the concession on imperial units was to be disallowed by the end of 2010. Originally, France, Germany, Estonia (who the fuck are they? Tallinn may be pretty but they are irrelevant) and the Nazi sympathisers (remember the Anschluss) Austria tried to support this. I'd give that lot some new weights and measures given a choice. French weights would be in 'frogs', German in 'Iron Crosses', Estonian in 'collaborators' and Austrian in 'dead sheep.' I don't know why I picked the last one but I don't bloody well care.
And so yesterday, the EU graciously allowed us to continue using imperial units in perpetuity, providing we also note the metric equivalent. 'Oh jolly good,' I thought, and 'fuck em.' You can buy a pint all over this world and nobody but the EU sees anything wrong in that. Tyre sizes have gone half metric but the wheel diameter is still in inches. I am happy with the decimalisation of our currency but metric weights and measures was a step too far. I suppose I should rejoice at these EU pillocks coming to their senses but I am not. In a world with so many problems of such great magnitude, these fat cat assholes need to get a life or maybe even be deprived of one. Roll out Madame Guillotine.
Having a scientific background, I am quite happy with metric measurements in the lab but I was raised at home on imperial units. It's a strange paradox which lives with me to this day - for liquids like water, I think in centigrade but for air temperatures, Fahrenheit makes more sense. It is worse with weight, kilos mean nothing, total pounds not much more; I am a stones and pounds man. And yes I know that one metre is 39.37 inches but I am not interested.
Our units of measurement go back centuries. In 1215, King John agreed to have a standard set of weights and measures when he agreed to Magna Carta and in 1352, Edward III set the stone at 14 lb. And as I recall from my history, in those days, France was not a specially united kingdom and indeed, we owned much of it. Germany was what? Well the Romans called the area Germania but it wasn't even remotely a nation then. You can see that on Gladiator - crowd of wallies in bearskins and horned helmets. Nationhood had to wait for Bismark in the 19th century.
Yet these bastards and other 'Johnny come lately's' in the European Union told us in 1995 that we had to label things in metric units although as a concession to the Brits, they allowed us to use imperial as well. BUT the metric was mandatory and if you didn't use it, you got prosecuted. Why I shall never know. We should just have taken the French attitude to EU legislation - use it when it suits us, ignore it if it doesn't.
Guess it was German revenge for whacking them in WWII and French revenge for liberating them when they patently could not do it for themselves.
Word is that the concession on imperial units was to be disallowed by the end of 2010. Originally, France, Germany, Estonia (who the fuck are they? Tallinn may be pretty but they are irrelevant) and the Nazi sympathisers (remember the Anschluss) Austria tried to support this. I'd give that lot some new weights and measures given a choice. French weights would be in 'frogs', German in 'Iron Crosses', Estonian in 'collaborators' and Austrian in 'dead sheep.' I don't know why I picked the last one but I don't bloody well care.
And so yesterday, the EU graciously allowed us to continue using imperial units in perpetuity, providing we also note the metric equivalent. 'Oh jolly good,' I thought, and 'fuck em.' You can buy a pint all over this world and nobody but the EU sees anything wrong in that. Tyre sizes have gone half metric but the wheel diameter is still in inches. I am happy with the decimalisation of our currency but metric weights and measures was a step too far. I suppose I should rejoice at these EU pillocks coming to their senses but I am not. In a world with so many problems of such great magnitude, these fat cat assholes need to get a life or maybe even be deprived of one. Roll out Madame Guillotine.
The Royal Mail
Wednesday, December 17th, 2008
This is our postal service and I have always been very happy with it. There are Post Offices everywhere although I concede that many small rural ones have been closed. The mail seems to get delivered pretty efficiently and it costs no more to post a lettter to London than it does to the Shetland Islands which I don't mind a bit. As far as I know, it costs no more to post a letter from New York to Albany than it does to Los Angeles.
However, there are rumblings here. Postmen are being told to up their average walking speed from 2 mph to 4 mph which I think is excessive, given that when treekking on mountains, I allowed 3 mph + 30 minutes for each 1000 ft of ascent. Worse still, we are told our postal service is out of date compared to many on the continent of Europe. Well, it might be but I have to say that I have always found it more difficult to buy a stamp or post a letter abroad. Maybe, I just don't understand their systems.
So what is the solution to this inefficiency? Privatisation of course. The last resort of any British government that does not know what to do about a problem - that is, pass it on to someone else. There is already talk about potential buyers from the continent, notably the Dutch Post Office.
Same old story - sell it off to foreigners. Steel went to the Dutch and was then bought out by India. Water has gone to the French. British Airports Authority has been bought by the Spanish. And we don't have a car industry to call our own unless you count Morgan which is flyshit. The Germans wish to buy out our share in the Eurostar and no doubt they will succeed. God knows who owns electricity and gas anymore but I bet it ain't us.
On principle, I prefer private enterprise but not always. I do think there are some fundamental national services which should be state owned and managed for the public good. Sure many public service employees think they have a job for life whatever they do. We need to disabuse them of this idea and if they go on frigging strike, let them and don't give in. Maggie did this with the miners and they signed their own death warrant.
No, we should retain the Royal Mail and if needs be, invest in it and give them a kick up the arse at the same time.
This is our postal service and I have always been very happy with it. There are Post Offices everywhere although I concede that many small rural ones have been closed. The mail seems to get delivered pretty efficiently and it costs no more to post a lettter to London than it does to the Shetland Islands which I don't mind a bit. As far as I know, it costs no more to post a letter from New York to Albany than it does to Los Angeles.
However, there are rumblings here. Postmen are being told to up their average walking speed from 2 mph to 4 mph which I think is excessive, given that when treekking on mountains, I allowed 3 mph + 30 minutes for each 1000 ft of ascent. Worse still, we are told our postal service is out of date compared to many on the continent of Europe. Well, it might be but I have to say that I have always found it more difficult to buy a stamp or post a letter abroad. Maybe, I just don't understand their systems.
So what is the solution to this inefficiency? Privatisation of course. The last resort of any British government that does not know what to do about a problem - that is, pass it on to someone else. There is already talk about potential buyers from the continent, notably the Dutch Post Office.
Same old story - sell it off to foreigners. Steel went to the Dutch and was then bought out by India. Water has gone to the French. British Airports Authority has been bought by the Spanish. And we don't have a car industry to call our own unless you count Morgan which is flyshit. The Germans wish to buy out our share in the Eurostar and no doubt they will succeed. God knows who owns electricity and gas anymore but I bet it ain't us.
On principle, I prefer private enterprise but not always. I do think there are some fundamental national services which should be state owned and managed for the public good. Sure many public service employees think they have a job for life whatever they do. We need to disabuse them of this idea and if they go on frigging strike, let them and don't give in. Maggie did this with the miners and they signed their own death warrant.
No, we should retain the Royal Mail and if needs be, invest in it and give them a kick up the arse at the same time.
Staple carbohydrates
Wednesday, December 17th, 2008
It seems to me that there are three of these, potatoes, rice and cereals, particularly wheat and maize. And that's the order in which I like them, possibly because of the way I was brought up.
On the potato front, I love them mashed, fried or roasted. Mashed potatoes seem to go with everything and, in my experience, American garlic mash is one of the very best served in their restaurants. Fried? Well the whole world loves chips/French fries and I am no exception. I used to have one of those electric deep fat friers but it stank the place out and was an absolute bugger to clean so now I just do oven chips. Roast? Well, the secret here is to get them crisp; soggy roast potatoes like soggy chips are awful.
Rice is fine on its own or as part of a dish. As I recall, the Chinese word for rice is the same as their word for food and you can understand that. I know that wild rice is supposed to be good for me but I am really happy with plain boiled Basmati, cold or hot. I love to take a handful of cold rice and roll it into a ball and eat it. Better still make a dip of light soy sauce with chopped garlic and chopped chili pepper. Leave it to stand for 30 minutes and infuse and then dip the rice in it.
Cereals, I am in two minds about. Certainly, I am not into breakfast cereals. Barley is best used to make beer: oats is best ignored. Wheat is fine for bread and I love fresh bread. Not nearly so keen on pasta and I really cannot understand what all the fuss is about there. Always seems rather slimy to me and usually a good sauce is required to give it any flavour at all.
The only maize product that I have eaten is ugali, the staple starch product of millions of Africans. It is an utterly tasteless stodge. Only had it once, on my African trip, when I chose not to go to a restarant in Vic Falls and had a meal with our truck driver who also made an onion omelette. The latter was nice but I could live my life without ugali.
It seems to me that there are three of these, potatoes, rice and cereals, particularly wheat and maize. And that's the order in which I like them, possibly because of the way I was brought up.
On the potato front, I love them mashed, fried or roasted. Mashed potatoes seem to go with everything and, in my experience, American garlic mash is one of the very best served in their restaurants. Fried? Well the whole world loves chips/French fries and I am no exception. I used to have one of those electric deep fat friers but it stank the place out and was an absolute bugger to clean so now I just do oven chips. Roast? Well, the secret here is to get them crisp; soggy roast potatoes like soggy chips are awful.
Rice is fine on its own or as part of a dish. As I recall, the Chinese word for rice is the same as their word for food and you can understand that. I know that wild rice is supposed to be good for me but I am really happy with plain boiled Basmati, cold or hot. I love to take a handful of cold rice and roll it into a ball and eat it. Better still make a dip of light soy sauce with chopped garlic and chopped chili pepper. Leave it to stand for 30 minutes and infuse and then dip the rice in it.
Cereals, I am in two minds about. Certainly, I am not into breakfast cereals. Barley is best used to make beer: oats is best ignored. Wheat is fine for bread and I love fresh bread. Not nearly so keen on pasta and I really cannot understand what all the fuss is about there. Always seems rather slimy to me and usually a good sauce is required to give it any flavour at all.
The only maize product that I have eaten is ugali, the staple starch product of millions of Africans. It is an utterly tasteless stodge. Only had it once, on my African trip, when I chose not to go to a restarant in Vic Falls and had a meal with our truck driver who also made an onion omelette. The latter was nice but I could live my life without ugali.
Monday 15 December 2008
100 best .....
Monday, December 15th, 2008
We get TV programmes like this all the time. You know the idea, 100 best movies, 100 best albums and so on. Usually, the top 100 is determined by the votes of a minimal bunch of viewers like 2,000. No one ever gives the confidence limits of such a sample but I bet it's low. And it shows in the results - whoever was polled must have the memory of a fucking goldfish given the number of the most recent events to appear in the top 10. You know what I mean, 'Dark Side of the Moon' makes it to 65 while some mindless recent trash comes in at no. 2. Have you ever tried to buy a cheap copy of 'Dark Side of the Moon' recently? You can't for it endures and they have no need to discount it.
I watched Channel 4's 100 best TV ads today and quite honestly, I have no recollection of the winners. The Hovis 'Bike ride' ad on which I wrote earlier got to about 25th place but among all but the kids, it is possibly the most memorable ad of all time. And something new I learned today: it was directed by Ridley Scott. I think that says it all.
We get TV programmes like this all the time. You know the idea, 100 best movies, 100 best albums and so on. Usually, the top 100 is determined by the votes of a minimal bunch of viewers like 2,000. No one ever gives the confidence limits of such a sample but I bet it's low. And it shows in the results - whoever was polled must have the memory of a fucking goldfish given the number of the most recent events to appear in the top 10. You know what I mean, 'Dark Side of the Moon' makes it to 65 while some mindless recent trash comes in at no. 2. Have you ever tried to buy a cheap copy of 'Dark Side of the Moon' recently? You can't for it endures and they have no need to discount it.
I watched Channel 4's 100 best TV ads today and quite honestly, I have no recollection of the winners. The Hovis 'Bike ride' ad on which I wrote earlier got to about 25th place but among all but the kids, it is possibly the most memorable ad of all time. And something new I learned today: it was directed by Ridley Scott. I think that says it all.
Sunday 14 December 2008
Hooray for the jury
Sunday, December 14th, 2008
Back in July, 2005, in the wake of our 7/7 London bombings (which left 52 dead), our police shot dead an innocent Brazilian, Jean Charles de Menezes on the London Underground. They mistakenly believed that he was an Arab terrorist. Well, these dagos all look the same don't they?
I suppose it was a genuine mistake at a time of great tension but it wasn't just one shot. They fired 7 dum-dum bullets into his head which seems reminiscent of Chicago gangsters and is certainly excessive. They were right behind him for ages when he caught one bus and then another and later at the station, on the escalator and then on the platform but at no time was there a sign of them ever having warned him. Sure, I appreciate the need for a 'shoot to kill' policy in extremis but these coppers presumably had kevlar vests and they could have taken him at any time.
Three years on there has been an inquest and you won't be surprised to learn that it has cost £6 million, it included 7 QC's who only get paid '000's per hour and in all that time the court only sat for 42 days. Idle bastards.
The coroner in the later stages of the trial forbade the jury from returning a verdict of 'unlawful killing': he also forbade the jury from giving a 'narrative verdict' which meant they would have no opportunity to explain their conclusion. So it finished with the jury, after 7 days deliberation, returning an open verdict which basically means that they in law at least could not reach a clear cut conclusion. Now this often really does mean they cannot make their minds up but in this case, I suspect they could not say what they really wanted to say.
The judge then asked them a series of questions and their answers made it pretty clear about the way they felt. Basically, it was that the police bungled it and as witnesses they were liars. So in the end, the jury got its point across. Good for them.
Back in July, 2005, in the wake of our 7/7 London bombings (which left 52 dead), our police shot dead an innocent Brazilian, Jean Charles de Menezes on the London Underground. They mistakenly believed that he was an Arab terrorist. Well, these dagos all look the same don't they?
I suppose it was a genuine mistake at a time of great tension but it wasn't just one shot. They fired 7 dum-dum bullets into his head which seems reminiscent of Chicago gangsters and is certainly excessive. They were right behind him for ages when he caught one bus and then another and later at the station, on the escalator and then on the platform but at no time was there a sign of them ever having warned him. Sure, I appreciate the need for a 'shoot to kill' policy in extremis but these coppers presumably had kevlar vests and they could have taken him at any time.
Three years on there has been an inquest and you won't be surprised to learn that it has cost £6 million, it included 7 QC's who only get paid '000's per hour and in all that time the court only sat for 42 days. Idle bastards.
The coroner in the later stages of the trial forbade the jury from returning a verdict of 'unlawful killing': he also forbade the jury from giving a 'narrative verdict' which meant they would have no opportunity to explain their conclusion. So it finished with the jury, after 7 days deliberation, returning an open verdict which basically means that they in law at least could not reach a clear cut conclusion. Now this often really does mean they cannot make their minds up but in this case, I suspect they could not say what they really wanted to say.
The judge then asked them a series of questions and their answers made it pretty clear about the way they felt. Basically, it was that the police bungled it and as witnesses they were liars. So in the end, the jury got its point across. Good for them.
Nicola Horlick
Sunday, December 14th, 2008
Born 1960, read law at Oxford, worked for Daddy and then moved into the City of London. She first came to prominence in the media in 1997 when she fell out with her employers Morgan Grenfell, an investment management company for which she is credited for having turned it around in the 90's. Her crime? Well, she was discovered planning to defect to another company and take her team with her (I'd have sacked her arse for the latter but that's another matter.) As you can imagine, the press loved all this. Successful business woman, bring up 5 kids, seemingly picked on by fat cat multinational employer with OMG, a German parent - Deutsche Bank. Great stuff.
She wrote a book and then went off to another company in the same line of business. It successfully managed to underperform the market for three years on the trot. She resurfaces from time to time and rambles on about combining work with raising kids albeit, as she admits, with considerable assistance. She had a little bitch once about getting time off to see her kids' carol concert. So bloody what? If any of my guys asked for that, I just said sure for they worked hard enough at other times. What's the big deal with her?
She was back again last week when it was announced that her latest company, of which she is CEO, has lost £21 million or 9.5% of its assets in the Bernard Madoff debacle. She has ranted on about the failure of American regulators to spot this coming. And a short while ago, she purred with praise in the Financial Times at the returns that Madoff was providing. It's not as though, no one had any warning. Some have been questioning Madoff's returns for ages.
But, as usual, greed prevailed and Lady Horlick is no exception. You'd think with her alleged brain and experience, she might have smelled a rat.
I am tired of hearing about her. Best she buggers off and gives more time to her brats and her clients.
Born 1960, read law at Oxford, worked for Daddy and then moved into the City of London. She first came to prominence in the media in 1997 when she fell out with her employers Morgan Grenfell, an investment management company for which she is credited for having turned it around in the 90's. Her crime? Well, she was discovered planning to defect to another company and take her team with her (I'd have sacked her arse for the latter but that's another matter.) As you can imagine, the press loved all this. Successful business woman, bring up 5 kids, seemingly picked on by fat cat multinational employer with OMG, a German parent - Deutsche Bank. Great stuff.
She wrote a book and then went off to another company in the same line of business. It successfully managed to underperform the market for three years on the trot. She resurfaces from time to time and rambles on about combining work with raising kids albeit, as she admits, with considerable assistance. She had a little bitch once about getting time off to see her kids' carol concert. So bloody what? If any of my guys asked for that, I just said sure for they worked hard enough at other times. What's the big deal with her?
She was back again last week when it was announced that her latest company, of which she is CEO, has lost £21 million or 9.5% of its assets in the Bernard Madoff debacle. She has ranted on about the failure of American regulators to spot this coming. And a short while ago, she purred with praise in the Financial Times at the returns that Madoff was providing. It's not as though, no one had any warning. Some have been questioning Madoff's returns for ages.
But, as usual, greed prevailed and Lady Horlick is no exception. You'd think with her alleged brain and experience, she might have smelled a rat.
I am tired of hearing about her. Best she buggers off and gives more time to her brats and her clients.
A car I'd like to own
Sunday, December 14th, 2008
Trying them is one thing, owning them is another. If I had piles of money, I'd probably upgrade my Focus to a 2.5 litre ST and an automatic but I don't yearn to do so. I am quite happy with my little car.
But owning them? Well, I would seriously like one of those RM series from Riley in the late 40's/early 50's with their sinuous curves and front opening doors.
Never been interested in a Rolls but a big green Bentley from the 20's would be nice. Here are my children getting out of one when they were young. It belonged to a friend of mine at the time and he restored it from a wreck.
One of the great things about going to the Le Mans 24 hour race is that so many of these Bentleys go there too. So you find yourself rubbing shoulders with them, so to speak, on the car ferry.
But if I had only one choice, then it would have to be a Duisenberg. Here are two:
You can google on them for yourself. I just think they are wonderful.
Trying them is one thing, owning them is another. If I had piles of money, I'd probably upgrade my Focus to a 2.5 litre ST and an automatic but I don't yearn to do so. I am quite happy with my little car.
But owning them? Well, I would seriously like one of those RM series from Riley in the late 40's/early 50's with their sinuous curves and front opening doors.
Never been interested in a Rolls but a big green Bentley from the 20's would be nice. Here are my children getting out of one when they were young. It belonged to a friend of mine at the time and he restored it from a wreck.One of the great things about going to the Le Mans 24 hour race is that so many of these Bentleys go there too. So you find yourself rubbing shoulders with them, so to speak, on the car ferry.
But if I had only one choice, then it would have to be a Duisenberg. Here are two:
You can google on them for yourself. I just think they are wonderful.
Cars I have owned
Sunday, December 14th, 2008
Although I have driven several hundred different cars in my career, I have owned but a few.
My first, in 1970, was the grey Wolseley 1500, a sort of upmarket Morris Minor. I think its top speed was 77 mph , 0-60 mph in over 20 seconds and a fuel consumption of around 32 mpg overall. Crude by today's standards but it got us around, including London to the very far NE tip of Scotland.
Next came the Riley 1.5 about 18 months later. This was a sportier version of the Wolseley and had better equipment. Twin SU carburettors meant that the top speed was 85 mph and that 0 - 60 could achieved in 18.9 secs but fuel consumption was poorer, think about 27 mph. It also had leather seats. This little baby went everywhere including several trips to the Frankfurt area in Germany. Bought it with 27,000 miles on the clock, gave it away at 88,000. I maintained it myself and it gave almost no trouble apart from a broken half shaft.
The next one was a Morris Marina Coupe in a deep shade of purple known as 'Black Tulip.' The Marina was mocked by many for its antique suspension and steering which were originally designed 25 years earlier. It had a 1.3 litre engine of similar pedigree. But it was simple and reliable and it got us and the young kids around well including those long runs to Germany. The boot was big, an essential factor with young kids. Remarkably for a car of that era, it simply never rusted. It was about a year old when I bought it and looked just as good when I sold it three years later.
Sadly the same cannot be said of its successor, a dirty grey Marina saloon, again with a 1.3 litre engine. It was mechanically reliable and I maintained it myself. However it was the most rust prone vehicle of my life. Blisters appeared everywhere and trails of them spread out across the bodywork much like a leaf miner attacks leaves; it seemed as if it had cancer. When I came to sell it, I swear that it was 50% fibreglass by then. That was a pity for I felt so guilty when I sold it to a lady. She obviously had little money and needed a car to get her to a new job in a bakery where she had to start work at 4 am. The car could not have lasted long and I am surprised that her husband did not come after me for selling them such a pile of shit.
On then to my first company car about 1981, a Princess 1700L. As the name suggests, a 1.7 litre engine but in a big barge such as this you'd hardly notice. Acceleration and fuel economy were crap but space and comfort were excellent. It had an appalling reputation for reliability but in my 65,000 miles of ownership, its faults were quite trivial.
Interesting that for in 1986, I had a new job and that included buying company cars, around 110 a year. My predecessor told me at the time that 'some people never have reliable cars, draw your own conclusions.' He was dead right.
On then to the Rover 216 Vitesse, a car based on the Honda Ballade of the day and a complete contrast to the Princess. It was much smaller and had a free revving 1.6 litre engine with a close ratio gearbox. The latter meant that acceleration through the box was excellent and overtaking on narrow roads was simple and safe. The downside was that the final drive ratio was low so the revs were very high even at 70 mph. Loved that little buzz box.
In 1989, I changed employers and moved to Cardiff where I got a dark blue Rover 820Si as a company car. It was big and fast and comfortable but uninspiring. I got it up to top speed once, 125 mph, and then saw blue flashing lights in my rear view mirror. Fortunately, they had never got an exact fix on the speed and they were driving a Rover 825. So I talked my way out of it.
In 1993 and despite my indifference with the last one, I got a silver grey Rover 820Si but this one was hatchback which felt more practical. It was an improvement in many respects but not on the power train side. In its three years with me, I had two engines and three gearboxes. Speed and relative economy were its only virtues.
In 1996, I got the MD's job and my predecessor handed me down his one year old Ford Scorpio with a 2.9 litre V6 engine, the biggest of all my cars. It was an awful shade of grey and stunningly ugly. The engine was antique and pulled no better than the Rover. Fuel economy was simply awful. It had three saving graces - it was an automatic (my first), it was very comfortable and it had a heated front screen. The latter is invaluable in winter.
In 1999, it was replaced by a Vauxhall (an Opel really) Omega 2.5CD. This had a pretty up to date 2.5 litre V6 but for all that it was a breathless engine and very uneconomical. My first car with aircon which had its idiosyncrasies like switching on at full blast at the most unlikely moments. What is more, it was never warm in winter. It had another serious flaw in that you could not open the boot when the engine was running. Now most times that is irritating but once it was a major inconvenience. I had gone to the USA and left my car to be valet parked. Upon my return, the driver said that the battery was flat and that they had had to jump start it. OK and off he went. Dimbo here switched off the engine to put the baggage in the boot and the battery, barely charged, would not crank the engine. I had to wait for almost an hour for assistance.
And so to my first diesel in 2004, a Volvo S60 SE with an inline 5, 2.4 litre turbocharged diesel. It had a lot going for it - fuel economy, first class audio system, leather seats, built like a brick shithouse and an automatic gearbox with full manual control if you wanted it. It accelerated pretty well once you got over the turbo lag but I never got used to that. I think it had what is euphemistically called a sports suspension which in laymen's speech means hard. The damn thing found every minor depression in the road and crossed them with a bang. Add to this, quite the worst turning circle of any car I have ever driven, let alone owned, it was a never ending source of embarrassment in car parks. Overall poor. The company has since abandoned them and gone to the Audi A6.
So I am retired now and I handed the Volvo in on April 4th, 2008. Bought myself a Ford Focus 1.8 Zetec and I love it. It's a manual and that took a bit of getting used to again. It will do 123mph, not that I have tried it and the 0-60 time is 10 seconds. Around town, I get about 30 mpg and on the open road more like 42 mpg. Manual aircon but who needs the automatic variety that has paid my wages for so many years. I know when I am warm and I know when I am cold and can adjust the wick accordingly. Some friends have commented that it's rather prosaic. Well it is, but by common consent among reviewers its a fine car by any standards. It's problem for many is I guess that its a Ford and the badge has no appeal. That's a shame for Ford of Europe have been making really good cars in this decade and their achievements have largely gone unsung.
And in the past, they have made some fine cars. I had a Ford Sierra Cosworth to play with over a weekend. Managed to get 154mph out of her on the motorway but she was as gentle as lamb in town which is unusual for a 'muscle car'.
Although I have driven several hundred different cars in my career, I have owned but a few.
My first, in 1970, was the grey Wolseley 1500, a sort of upmarket Morris Minor. I think its top speed was 77 mph , 0-60 mph in over 20 seconds and a fuel consumption of around 32 mpg overall. Crude by today's standards but it got us around, including London to the very far NE tip of Scotland.
Next came the Riley 1.5 about 18 months later. This was a sportier version of the Wolseley and had better equipment. Twin SU carburettors meant that the top speed was 85 mph and that 0 - 60 could achieved in 18.9 secs but fuel consumption was poorer, think about 27 mph. It also had leather seats. This little baby went everywhere including several trips to the Frankfurt area in Germany. Bought it with 27,000 miles on the clock, gave it away at 88,000. I maintained it myself and it gave almost no trouble apart from a broken half shaft.
The next one was a Morris Marina Coupe in a deep shade of purple known as 'Black Tulip.' The Marina was mocked by many for its antique suspension and steering which were originally designed 25 years earlier. It had a 1.3 litre engine of similar pedigree. But it was simple and reliable and it got us and the young kids around well including those long runs to Germany. The boot was big, an essential factor with young kids. Remarkably for a car of that era, it simply never rusted. It was about a year old when I bought it and looked just as good when I sold it three years later.Sadly the same cannot be said of its successor, a dirty grey Marina saloon, again with a 1.3 litre engine. It was mechanically reliable and I maintained it myself. However it was the most rust prone vehicle of my life. Blisters appeared everywhere and trails of them spread out across the bodywork much like a leaf miner attacks leaves; it seemed as if it had cancer. When I came to sell it, I swear that it was 50% fibreglass by then. That was a pity for I felt so guilty when I sold it to a lady. She obviously had little money and needed a car to get her to a new job in a bakery where she had to start work at 4 am. The car could not have lasted long and I am surprised that her husband did not come after me for selling them such a pile of shit.
On then to my first company car about 1981, a Princess 1700L. As the name suggests, a 1.7 litre engine but in a big barge such as this you'd hardly notice. Acceleration and fuel economy were crap but space and comfort were excellent. It had an appalling reputation for reliability but in my 65,000 miles of ownership, its faults were quite trivial.
Interesting that for in 1986, I had a new job and that included buying company cars, around 110 a year. My predecessor told me at the time that 'some people never have reliable cars, draw your own conclusions.' He was dead right.
On then to the Rover 216 Vitesse, a car based on the Honda Ballade of the day and a complete contrast to the Princess. It was much smaller and had a free revving 1.6 litre engine with a close ratio gearbox. The latter meant that acceleration through the box was excellent and overtaking on narrow roads was simple and safe. The downside was that the final drive ratio was low so the revs were very high even at 70 mph. Loved that little buzz box.
In 1989, I changed employers and moved to Cardiff where I got a dark blue Rover 820Si as a company car. It was big and fast and comfortable but uninspiring. I got it up to top speed once, 125 mph, and then saw blue flashing lights in my rear view mirror. Fortunately, they had never got an exact fix on the speed and they were driving a Rover 825. So I talked my way out of it.
In 1993 and despite my indifference with the last one, I got a silver grey Rover 820Si but this one was hatchback which felt more practical. It was an improvement in many respects but not on the power train side. In its three years with me, I had two engines and three gearboxes. Speed and relative economy were its only virtues.
In 1996, I got the MD's job and my predecessor handed me down his one year old Ford Scorpio with a 2.9 litre V6 engine, the biggest of all my cars. It was an awful shade of grey and stunningly ugly. The engine was antique and pulled no better than the Rover. Fuel economy was simply awful. It had three saving graces - it was an automatic (my first), it was very comfortable and it had a heated front screen. The latter is invaluable in winter.
In 1999, it was replaced by a Vauxhall (an Opel really) Omega 2.5CD. This had a pretty up to date 2.5 litre V6 but for all that it was a breathless engine and very uneconomical. My first car with aircon which had its idiosyncrasies like switching on at full blast at the most unlikely moments. What is more, it was never warm in winter. It had another serious flaw in that you could not open the boot when the engine was running. Now most times that is irritating but once it was a major inconvenience. I had gone to the USA and left my car to be valet parked. Upon my return, the driver said that the battery was flat and that they had had to jump start it. OK and off he went. Dimbo here switched off the engine to put the baggage in the boot and the battery, barely charged, would not crank the engine. I had to wait for almost an hour for assistance.
And so to my first diesel in 2004, a Volvo S60 SE with an inline 5, 2.4 litre turbocharged diesel. It had a lot going for it - fuel economy, first class audio system, leather seats, built like a brick shithouse and an automatic gearbox with full manual control if you wanted it. It accelerated pretty well once you got over the turbo lag but I never got used to that. I think it had what is euphemistically called a sports suspension which in laymen's speech means hard. The damn thing found every minor depression in the road and crossed them with a bang. Add to this, quite the worst turning circle of any car I have ever driven, let alone owned, it was a never ending source of embarrassment in car parks. Overall poor. The company has since abandoned them and gone to the Audi A6.
So I am retired now and I handed the Volvo in on April 4th, 2008. Bought myself a Ford Focus 1.8 Zetec and I love it. It's a manual and that took a bit of getting used to again. It will do 123mph, not that I have tried it and the 0-60 time is 10 seconds. Around town, I get about 30 mpg and on the open road more like 42 mpg. Manual aircon but who needs the automatic variety that has paid my wages for so many years. I know when I am warm and I know when I am cold and can adjust the wick accordingly. Some friends have commented that it's rather prosaic. Well it is, but by common consent among reviewers its a fine car by any standards. It's problem for many is I guess that its a Ford and the badge has no appeal. That's a shame for Ford of Europe have been making really good cars in this decade and their achievements have largely gone unsung.
And in the past, they have made some fine cars. I had a Ford Sierra Cosworth to play with over a weekend. Managed to get 154mph out of her on the motorway but she was as gentle as lamb in town which is unusual for a 'muscle car'.
Bailing out the Big Three
Sunday, December 14th, 2008
The Senate, last week, narrowly voted not to give State Aid to GM, Ford and Chrysler. Their reasoning or so I read is that the Republicans could not get the UAW to accept a bigger pay cut. I believe that typical track side worker gets around $70/hour and that those of Toyota get between $10 to $20/hour less. I have been to several track sides in my life. Some workers are very busy and some are not; maybe the load has been better balanced in recent times. Nonetheless, both are damn good wages compared to many Americans.
I have just read 'Nickled and Dimed' as US book where a comfortably off writer took a year out to see how she could survive on low paid job like being a maid, a waitress and a Wal-Mart employee. At no time did she earn more than about $8/hour and she worked her butt off too.
Some politicians have voiced their fears that a bail out would not work in the long term and I agree with them. I seriously doubt if these companies will ever change and I include staff and management as well as blue collar. See my blog of October 14th.
But I'd like them to get the money and put off the evil day of Chapter 11. My reasons are entirely selfish. A large number of my shares are in an automotive supplier and I want them to grow.
And whatever, the outcome, I do have to say that the three bosses of these companies have been treated pretty shabbily compared to the banks whose performance has been even worse. The three guys had to face hostile Senate/Congressional committees who were at times insulting and sarcastic. The bankers have faced none of that and they have access to a $750 billion bailout fund. The big three guys have cut their pay to $1/yr; I can see no such gesture at the banks.
The Senate, last week, narrowly voted not to give State Aid to GM, Ford and Chrysler. Their reasoning or so I read is that the Republicans could not get the UAW to accept a bigger pay cut. I believe that typical track side worker gets around $70/hour and that those of Toyota get between $10 to $20/hour less. I have been to several track sides in my life. Some workers are very busy and some are not; maybe the load has been better balanced in recent times. Nonetheless, both are damn good wages compared to many Americans.
I have just read 'Nickled and Dimed' as US book where a comfortably off writer took a year out to see how she could survive on low paid job like being a maid, a waitress and a Wal-Mart employee. At no time did she earn more than about $8/hour and she worked her butt off too.
Some politicians have voiced their fears that a bail out would not work in the long term and I agree with them. I seriously doubt if these companies will ever change and I include staff and management as well as blue collar. See my blog of October 14th.
But I'd like them to get the money and put off the evil day of Chapter 11. My reasons are entirely selfish. A large number of my shares are in an automotive supplier and I want them to grow.
And whatever, the outcome, I do have to say that the three bosses of these companies have been treated pretty shabbily compared to the banks whose performance has been even worse. The three guys had to face hostile Senate/Congressional committees who were at times insulting and sarcastic. The bankers have faced none of that and they have access to a $750 billion bailout fund. The big three guys have cut their pay to $1/yr; I can see no such gesture at the banks.
Diaries and bring forward folders.
Sunday, December 14th, 2008
I am talking here about the ones in which you keep appointments not the storytelling ones that politicians publish years later to blacken the name of their colleagues and excuse themselves from blame.
All my working life, I managed with just a pocket diary and never felt the need for more. From 1987 when I first had a secretary, they kept desk diaries but such things had no appeal to me. Too big and another thing to write up. Never felt the need for a Filofax, a palm top or any of the trillion organisers you can get for a PC. I did use one of those pocket organisers but only for phone numbers and addresses because it saved writing them up in the diary each year.
Now my memory isn't perfect so back in 1966, I took some sheets of thin cardboard and taped them together and numbered the pockets from 1 to 31. Yes, I know you can buy them as bring forward folders these days but at that time, they were unknown, at least to all those around me. It helped me enormously in my job back then. I received a lot of technical queries from customers and had to pass them on to the labs who took their time to answer, if at all. So I took to phoning them and asking when they would answer. Well they quickly realised that on the due date, they would get another call and then be harrassed. So soon I got pretty much everything on time.
Two lessons in all this - one is the good old, 'Keep it simple, stupid!' and the second is that if you make the pain of doing a job badly greater than the pain of doing it well, then you will get results.
I am talking here about the ones in which you keep appointments not the storytelling ones that politicians publish years later to blacken the name of their colleagues and excuse themselves from blame.
All my working life, I managed with just a pocket diary and never felt the need for more. From 1987 when I first had a secretary, they kept desk diaries but such things had no appeal to me. Too big and another thing to write up. Never felt the need for a Filofax, a palm top or any of the trillion organisers you can get for a PC. I did use one of those pocket organisers but only for phone numbers and addresses because it saved writing them up in the diary each year.
Now my memory isn't perfect so back in 1966, I took some sheets of thin cardboard and taped them together and numbered the pockets from 1 to 31. Yes, I know you can buy them as bring forward folders these days but at that time, they were unknown, at least to all those around me. It helped me enormously in my job back then. I received a lot of technical queries from customers and had to pass them on to the labs who took their time to answer, if at all. So I took to phoning them and asking when they would answer. Well they quickly realised that on the due date, they would get another call and then be harrassed. So soon I got pretty much everything on time.
Two lessons in all this - one is the good old, 'Keep it simple, stupid!' and the second is that if you make the pain of doing a job badly greater than the pain of doing it well, then you will get results.
Yupiteru MVT7100 scanner
Sunday, December 14th, 2008
Rummaging around in some cupboards yesterday, I found this. It's a kind of radio and as the name suggests, it can scan a range of radio frequencies. The range of frequencies is enormous - long wave, medium wave, short wave, fm radio, police, fire, ambulance, taxis and so on. When cell phones were analogue, you could listen to them too, a fad which wore off for me in minutes. Did get one amusing one - a man in Cardiff phoning a massage parlour and trying to gently tease out of the girl what other services were on offer.
It was launched in 1993 and I think I got mine second hand for £200 a few years later. So I put some new batteries in and it worked just as well as it always did. Listened briefly to Cardiff air traffic control. Not a lot happening but then we don't get much air traffic, well at least at low altitude. It's illegal over here to listen to anything but public radio stations so being the law obiding citizen for which I am renowned, I moved on.
It has 20 dual function buttons and I couldn't find the manual, which being a crude Japanese to English translation was never much use anyway. So I surfed the net and found a decent manual. The most amazing thing was the reverence and awe for this machine even today and the fact that it only ceased production a few years ago. Newer scanners have far better LCD screens but few have any more features and very few match its sensitivity, its ability to capture weak signals out of the ether.
I knew it was good when I bought it but I did not realise that it was to become a legend.
Rummaging around in some cupboards yesterday, I found this. It's a kind of radio and as the name suggests, it can scan a range of radio frequencies. The range of frequencies is enormous - long wave, medium wave, short wave, fm radio, police, fire, ambulance, taxis and so on. When cell phones were analogue, you could listen to them too, a fad which wore off for me in minutes. Did get one amusing one - a man in Cardiff phoning a massage parlour and trying to gently tease out of the girl what other services were on offer.
It was launched in 1993 and I think I got mine second hand for £200 a few years later. So I put some new batteries in and it worked just as well as it always did. Listened briefly to Cardiff air traffic control. Not a lot happening but then we don't get much air traffic, well at least at low altitude. It's illegal over here to listen to anything but public radio stations so being the law obiding citizen for which I am renowned, I moved on.
It has 20 dual function buttons and I couldn't find the manual, which being a crude Japanese to English translation was never much use anyway. So I surfed the net and found a decent manual. The most amazing thing was the reverence and awe for this machine even today and the fact that it only ceased production a few years ago. Newer scanners have far better LCD screens but few have any more features and very few match its sensitivity, its ability to capture weak signals out of the ether.
I knew it was good when I bought it but I did not realise that it was to become a legend.
Friday 12 December 2008
Learning from your kids
Friday, December 12th, 2008
You have kids and if you are lucky, they pass through the adolescent phase of thinking you are stupid (or even hating you) and move on to become really nice, warm and loving adults. I think I have got there now, well, they have become parental and protecting. Isn't that wonderful when you get that from someone you have beaten, shouted at, cajoled, hugged, kissed and berated?
But as life goes by, role reversal steps in. It started for me very early on with Caroline. I always wanted my kids to be able to swim from a very early age. I couldn't and I had a little friend who drowned in the river on Good Friday, 1953. So she and Peter learned to swim like fish when very young. Peter had strength and swam fast: Caroline had grace and truly swam with all the ease of a fish.
But Caroline moaned at me to learn so I did. I shall never be as good as either of them but I know how to survive now.
And so it has evolved, each of them imparting to me things I never knew of and imparting it gently and without judgement. I think in some ways they, on the one hand, regard me as the fount of all knowledge but, on the other hand, they recognise my weaknesses and they correct me gently. You have to love them for that.
You have kids and if you are lucky, they pass through the adolescent phase of thinking you are stupid (or even hating you) and move on to become really nice, warm and loving adults. I think I have got there now, well, they have become parental and protecting. Isn't that wonderful when you get that from someone you have beaten, shouted at, cajoled, hugged, kissed and berated?
But as life goes by, role reversal steps in. It started for me very early on with Caroline. I always wanted my kids to be able to swim from a very early age. I couldn't and I had a little friend who drowned in the river on Good Friday, 1953. So she and Peter learned to swim like fish when very young. Peter had strength and swam fast: Caroline had grace and truly swam with all the ease of a fish.
But Caroline moaned at me to learn so I did. I shall never be as good as either of them but I know how to survive now.
And so it has evolved, each of them imparting to me things I never knew of and imparting it gently and without judgement. I think in some ways they, on the one hand, regard me as the fount of all knowledge but, on the other hand, they recognise my weaknesses and they correct me gently. You have to love them for that.
Thursday 11 December 2008
English Democrats
Thursday, December 11th, 2008
I only learned of this political party a few days ago. So I looked up their website and read much. I guess their basic message is that Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have their own parliaments of sorts and England doesn't but should have one. They go on to point out that English money subsidises these Celts to a higher level seen in any part of England. Well, when I looked elsewhere at some decent economic research, that is true. However, it also true that when you compare income v. expenditure, all of England are net recipients apart from London, the East and the South East. The North East has subsidies which compare well with the Celtic places.
There are many underlying themes in their message. One seems to be to dump Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland and for England to go it alone. I find it superficially appealing even though I live in Wales. However, here I suspect that this party is paying to much attention to the braying nationalists in those places and is unaware of the silent majority. I have almost no evidence for this but I do note that when Wales was polled on the prospect of a national assembly, it was a damn close run thing. I doubt if Wales would vote for independence for all the froth spewing out of Plaid Cymru.
Scotland may be another matter but who cares? We've extracted most of the oil and spent the revenue so they can fuck off and dream of Bannockburn. And if the Scots secede then we can dump all those Scottish MP's including Gordon Brown. And , of course, we'd rebuild Hadrian's Wall, but this time we'd man the turrets with machine guns and put up with electric fences. Like to see them leaping over them in their kilts with their willies dangling.
Northern Ireland? I just don't know. You'd think that the Catholics would vote to join the South based on the troubles of the past 40 years. But would they? Ireland is so damn expensive that the their locals who live within a reasonable driving distance of the border, actually shop in the North. The recent decline of the value of the pound against the Euro will only increase that.
Do I want an English Parliament? Hell no, just another layer of bureaucracy housed in new and expensive buildings and strutting around as though they were important. The Scottish and Irish used existing buildings for their outfits but the Welsh had to build a multi million edifice down on the Bay to house theirs and the roof is already leaking. And, course, the English would have to site their parliament somewhere kinda neutral and out of London. Milton Keynes? Well as they say, 'Happiness is Milton Keynes in your rear view mirror.'
And the English Democrats just don't leave matters there. It's not just the Celts that get sniped at, it's other foreign people notably the Moslems. Well, I too am getting tired of the extremism of some and what I see as the efforts of others not to offend them on issues where we need to be offensive - like the beating of kids in evening classes. But these so called Engliah Democrats just focus on the bad and ignore the fact that the majority of Moslems go about their daily business peacefully.
The English Democrats are plausible and their manifesto is by and large reasonable. But you and I know that nationalism such as this always has a hidden side and if/when they get to power, the outcome will be evil. There is a smell about them and it smells of the British National Party, our very own little Nazis.
I shall continue to criticise the British government and all the hypocrisies in this land but I have no wish to change its basic institutions.
English Democrats? Fuck 'em.
I only learned of this political party a few days ago. So I looked up their website and read much. I guess their basic message is that Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have their own parliaments of sorts and England doesn't but should have one. They go on to point out that English money subsidises these Celts to a higher level seen in any part of England. Well, when I looked elsewhere at some decent economic research, that is true. However, it also true that when you compare income v. expenditure, all of England are net recipients apart from London, the East and the South East. The North East has subsidies which compare well with the Celtic places.
There are many underlying themes in their message. One seems to be to dump Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland and for England to go it alone. I find it superficially appealing even though I live in Wales. However, here I suspect that this party is paying to much attention to the braying nationalists in those places and is unaware of the silent majority. I have almost no evidence for this but I do note that when Wales was polled on the prospect of a national assembly, it was a damn close run thing. I doubt if Wales would vote for independence for all the froth spewing out of Plaid Cymru.
Scotland may be another matter but who cares? We've extracted most of the oil and spent the revenue so they can fuck off and dream of Bannockburn. And if the Scots secede then we can dump all those Scottish MP's including Gordon Brown. And , of course, we'd rebuild Hadrian's Wall, but this time we'd man the turrets with machine guns and put up with electric fences. Like to see them leaping over them in their kilts with their willies dangling.
Northern Ireland? I just don't know. You'd think that the Catholics would vote to join the South based on the troubles of the past 40 years. But would they? Ireland is so damn expensive that the their locals who live within a reasonable driving distance of the border, actually shop in the North. The recent decline of the value of the pound against the Euro will only increase that.
Do I want an English Parliament? Hell no, just another layer of bureaucracy housed in new and expensive buildings and strutting around as though they were important. The Scottish and Irish used existing buildings for their outfits but the Welsh had to build a multi million edifice down on the Bay to house theirs and the roof is already leaking. And, course, the English would have to site their parliament somewhere kinda neutral and out of London. Milton Keynes? Well as they say, 'Happiness is Milton Keynes in your rear view mirror.'
And the English Democrats just don't leave matters there. It's not just the Celts that get sniped at, it's other foreign people notably the Moslems. Well, I too am getting tired of the extremism of some and what I see as the efforts of others not to offend them on issues where we need to be offensive - like the beating of kids in evening classes. But these so called Engliah Democrats just focus on the bad and ignore the fact that the majority of Moslems go about their daily business peacefully.
The English Democrats are plausible and their manifesto is by and large reasonable. But you and I know that nationalism such as this always has a hidden side and if/when they get to power, the outcome will be evil. There is a smell about them and it smells of the British National Party, our very own little Nazis.
I shall continue to criticise the British government and all the hypocrisies in this land but I have no wish to change its basic institutions.
English Democrats? Fuck 'em.
Electric toasters
Thursday, December 11th, 2008
My toaster packed up this morning. It obviously wasn't completely buggered for there was a slight warming of the bread that I inserted. Who cares? It's years old and it isn't worth taking it apart to investigate let alone getting someone to repair it.
So off I toddle to a local supermarket and bought a new one for £8.81. It has what I need - 2 slices at a time, removable crumb tray and the ability to toast bread from frozen, not that I do that that much. And it is in stainless steel and looks ok.
Out of curiosity when I got home, I took a look at the supermarket's website to see what range they offered. They have a staggering 64 models on offer ranging from about £5.50 to almost £150. OK so some can do 4 slices at once presumably to cope with a horde of starving brats. Others would apparently beep at me to tell me when the toast was done, a pretty much useless feature given that I can hear the crash of ejection of finished toast from several rooms away. But otherwise, they were all pretty similar in terms of functionality.
Who the hell spends £150 on a toaster? We should identify them, find them guilty of wasting money and appropriate much of their cash on the grounds of insanity and give the money to me.
My toaster packed up this morning. It obviously wasn't completely buggered for there was a slight warming of the bread that I inserted. Who cares? It's years old and it isn't worth taking it apart to investigate let alone getting someone to repair it.
So off I toddle to a local supermarket and bought a new one for £8.81. It has what I need - 2 slices at a time, removable crumb tray and the ability to toast bread from frozen, not that I do that that much. And it is in stainless steel and looks ok.
Out of curiosity when I got home, I took a look at the supermarket's website to see what range they offered. They have a staggering 64 models on offer ranging from about £5.50 to almost £150. OK so some can do 4 slices at once presumably to cope with a horde of starving brats. Others would apparently beep at me to tell me when the toast was done, a pretty much useless feature given that I can hear the crash of ejection of finished toast from several rooms away. But otherwise, they were all pretty similar in terms of functionality.
Who the hell spends £150 on a toaster? We should identify them, find them guilty of wasting money and appropriate much of their cash on the grounds of insanity and give the money to me.
Wednesday 10 December 2008
Banning cigarette displays
Wednesday, December 10th, 2008
Well as suggested in the Queen's Speech 6 days ago, our Government has got off its arse and announced that ciggies will have to taken off display (and put under the counter) in large shops by 2011 and in small shops by 2013. Understandably specialist baccy shops may be exempt, otherwise their entire stock would be hidden.
Why wait so long, I wonder? Many have said that the Government recognises the impact that such a move may have on beleagured shops in these hard times so they have given them time to adjust. Bollocks! If this was motivated by an intention to improve public health then the sooner the better, surely. No, it's just another of those tricks that governments come up with to distract the public from the major issues of the the day and make people feel that 'they are doing something'. This is nothing new. Go read Livy's 'Early History of Rome,' Books 1 -5 and see how they duped the proletariat time after time.
Some wizard has said that in countries where cigarette displays have been removed 'the prevalence of smoking among young people has fallen by up to 10 percent.' OK, but have they proved the link? Sloppy science, I suspect.
I am quite at home with statistics which means I know how to use them properly but if so inclined I can use them maliciously or at least without care. Given a hour or so, I could find a way of linking the average noon time temperature in Buenos Aires with the price of soya beans. Such is the way of numbers. So that 10% fall means bugger all without supporting facts.
And why stop at ciggies? The attack on the fatties grows so let's hide chocolate. Indeed why even stop there - let's go for saturated fats, farmed salmon (poly-chlorinated biphenyls, you know), wetting the bed, fabric softeners, salt, having noisy fun, Private Eye - the list is endless and all Gordon Brown can say about Zimbabwe is 'enough is enough'.
Well as suggested in the Queen's Speech 6 days ago, our Government has got off its arse and announced that ciggies will have to taken off display (and put under the counter) in large shops by 2011 and in small shops by 2013. Understandably specialist baccy shops may be exempt, otherwise their entire stock would be hidden.
Why wait so long, I wonder? Many have said that the Government recognises the impact that such a move may have on beleagured shops in these hard times so they have given them time to adjust. Bollocks! If this was motivated by an intention to improve public health then the sooner the better, surely. No, it's just another of those tricks that governments come up with to distract the public from the major issues of the the day and make people feel that 'they are doing something'. This is nothing new. Go read Livy's 'Early History of Rome,' Books 1 -5 and see how they duped the proletariat time after time.
Some wizard has said that in countries where cigarette displays have been removed 'the prevalence of smoking among young people has fallen by up to 10 percent.' OK, but have they proved the link? Sloppy science, I suspect.
I am quite at home with statistics which means I know how to use them properly but if so inclined I can use them maliciously or at least without care. Given a hour or so, I could find a way of linking the average noon time temperature in Buenos Aires with the price of soya beans. Such is the way of numbers. So that 10% fall means bugger all without supporting facts.
And why stop at ciggies? The attack on the fatties grows so let's hide chocolate. Indeed why even stop there - let's go for saturated fats, farmed salmon (poly-chlorinated biphenyls, you know), wetting the bed, fabric softeners, salt, having noisy fun, Private Eye - the list is endless and all Gordon Brown can say about Zimbabwe is 'enough is enough'.
The Permian extinction and climate change
Wednesday, December 10th, 2008
We had a programme on TV on Monday: it was called 'Catastrophe' and rightly so. It told the story of the most disastrous event ever for life on Earth. They reckon that 95% of all life (or was it species?) was killed off in this event. This occurred 250 million years ago and signalled the end of the Permian age, an age in which life on Earth and in the oceans really got a move on. I bought a book on this in Baltimore, back in 2004 and the author was in much of the programme.
Theories on how this happened abounded for years but the interesting thing is that it did not happen overnight but rather over 100,000 years. So bang (sorry!) goes the asteroid impact theory. The theory of choice has it all starting with an unbelievable volcanic eruption in Siberia and there is plenty of evidence for that. Carbon and sulphur dioxides + the usual dust were spewed into the atmosphere creating global warming but the temp rise was 'only' about 5 degrees C. Now that would knock off quite a few, many of us included if we'd been around, but it was not enough to do for 95%.
Enter methyl hydrate or methyl clathrate as it is also called. Interesting compound - typically one molecule of methane gets trapped in a sort of lattice of water molecules. The methane comes from decaying bacteria and the water captures it and freezes. And there are said to be zillions on tons of it trapped on the ocean floor. The problem with this stuff is that right now, just as in the Permian, it is quite close to its decomposition point. And when it decomposes, it goes off with a bang releasing all its methane as a giant bubble. It is suspected that such events occur occasionally today and may account for the strange disappearance of the odd supertanker.
Back to the Permian. Well the CO2 lifted the average global temp by 5C and slowly, it is believed, that the oceans (which have a higher thermal inertia) warmed up too. And then bang, the methyl hydrates came apart releasing their methane which, the programme said, is 25 times worse as global warming gas than CO2. So that's what did for much of the rest of life on Earth at the time.
Very plausible I thought.
Is this relevant to today, I wondered. Can't be sure. I do note however that the Japanese are looking to source methane from these hydrates but the problem is that they do not release their methane slowly so how are they gonna capture it?
I suppose the message is that we might just cope with CO2 induced global warming. Sure millions might die of consequence but I'd be OK cus my house is about 325 feet above mean sea level. Maybe I might even grow bananas and pineapples in the garden and it would be nice to have the car frost free all year round. But if the methane cometh, we'd all be up 'shit street.'
We had a programme on TV on Monday: it was called 'Catastrophe' and rightly so. It told the story of the most disastrous event ever for life on Earth. They reckon that 95% of all life (or was it species?) was killed off in this event. This occurred 250 million years ago and signalled the end of the Permian age, an age in which life on Earth and in the oceans really got a move on. I bought a book on this in Baltimore, back in 2004 and the author was in much of the programme.
Theories on how this happened abounded for years but the interesting thing is that it did not happen overnight but rather over 100,000 years. So bang (sorry!) goes the asteroid impact theory. The theory of choice has it all starting with an unbelievable volcanic eruption in Siberia and there is plenty of evidence for that. Carbon and sulphur dioxides + the usual dust were spewed into the atmosphere creating global warming but the temp rise was 'only' about 5 degrees C. Now that would knock off quite a few, many of us included if we'd been around, but it was not enough to do for 95%.
Enter methyl hydrate or methyl clathrate as it is also called. Interesting compound - typically one molecule of methane gets trapped in a sort of lattice of water molecules. The methane comes from decaying bacteria and the water captures it and freezes. And there are said to be zillions on tons of it trapped on the ocean floor. The problem with this stuff is that right now, just as in the Permian, it is quite close to its decomposition point. And when it decomposes, it goes off with a bang releasing all its methane as a giant bubble. It is suspected that such events occur occasionally today and may account for the strange disappearance of the odd supertanker.
Back to the Permian. Well the CO2 lifted the average global temp by 5C and slowly, it is believed, that the oceans (which have a higher thermal inertia) warmed up too. And then bang, the methyl hydrates came apart releasing their methane which, the programme said, is 25 times worse as global warming gas than CO2. So that's what did for much of the rest of life on Earth at the time.
Very plausible I thought.
Is this relevant to today, I wondered. Can't be sure. I do note however that the Japanese are looking to source methane from these hydrates but the problem is that they do not release their methane slowly so how are they gonna capture it?
I suppose the message is that we might just cope with CO2 induced global warming. Sure millions might die of consequence but I'd be OK cus my house is about 325 feet above mean sea level. Maybe I might even grow bananas and pineapples in the garden and it would be nice to have the car frost free all year round. But if the methane cometh, we'd all be up 'shit street.'
Low energy light bulbs 2
Wednesday, December 10th, 2008
The insanity continues. The EU, surely the most interfering, idle and overpaid bunch of assholes on the planet, has announced that tungsten light bulbs are to be banned from 2010. Some British clown has pointed out that apart from lower electricity consumption, the replacement bulbs last 4 times longer and only cost 3 times as much. Oh yeah, he must be referring to those piddling 40w equivalent ones I talked about earlier. You try buying a 100w equivalent and you are talking of up to 10 times as much.
However, the main point is that apart from warm up time, the light from the new ones simply isn't right and of course, they flicker with the mains frequency. Most of us won't notice this but a substantial minority say they will and I can understand that.
Me, I shall go out and buy up 100 x 100w and say 50 x 60w tungsten ones and draw the curtains for soon we shall have the 'light bulb' police added to the list of enforcement organisations. I suspect I shall not be alone in taking this stance.
The insanity continues. The EU, surely the most interfering, idle and overpaid bunch of assholes on the planet, has announced that tungsten light bulbs are to be banned from 2010. Some British clown has pointed out that apart from lower electricity consumption, the replacement bulbs last 4 times longer and only cost 3 times as much. Oh yeah, he must be referring to those piddling 40w equivalent ones I talked about earlier. You try buying a 100w equivalent and you are talking of up to 10 times as much.
However, the main point is that apart from warm up time, the light from the new ones simply isn't right and of course, they flicker with the mains frequency. Most of us won't notice this but a substantial minority say they will and I can understand that.
Me, I shall go out and buy up 100 x 100w and say 50 x 60w tungsten ones and draw the curtains for soon we shall have the 'light bulb' police added to the list of enforcement organisations. I suspect I shall not be alone in taking this stance.
Copyright
Wednesday, December 10th, 2008
Using Microsoft Photo Story, I have created a number of mini videos of my holiday experiences and set them to music. Three of these, I have posted on Facebook. Harmless enough, I thought, and I am not making money out of them.
Oh, no, the copyright police have found me, deleted the videos and warned me that if I am caught again, then I will be banned from Facebook. Can't say I am too bothered about the latter; it is just a whimsy and I have managed for 64 years without it. Its the principle which bothers me - three minutes or fewer shared with private friends and in come the heavy mob.
Sure artistes need remuneration for their efforts but is there really a need to extend their money grabbing down to this level? Ah, but you may say, 'if you get away with it, where will it end?' Crap, my little videos, of which I own the images, will never make money so let me be.
The entertainment industry constantly bemoans the loss of revenue from piracy and quotes huge sums for this. It seems to be based on the fallacious assumption that if you hadn't bought a pirate copy, you would have bought an overpriced genuine one. That's crap too. They don't sell singles anymore, just albums and they are no different from the days before the Compact Cassette - 12 tracks of which 4 are good, two are acceptable and the rest not worth listening to.
Movies? Well the good ones make loads, piracy or not and the bummers sink as they deserve.
To listen to these copyright people, you could be forgiven for thinking that Whitney Houston, Take That, Microsoft and J K Rowling were on the breadline.
Fuck 'em, I ain't paying.
Using Microsoft Photo Story, I have created a number of mini videos of my holiday experiences and set them to music. Three of these, I have posted on Facebook. Harmless enough, I thought, and I am not making money out of them.
Oh, no, the copyright police have found me, deleted the videos and warned me that if I am caught again, then I will be banned from Facebook. Can't say I am too bothered about the latter; it is just a whimsy and I have managed for 64 years without it. Its the principle which bothers me - three minutes or fewer shared with private friends and in come the heavy mob.
Sure artistes need remuneration for their efforts but is there really a need to extend their money grabbing down to this level? Ah, but you may say, 'if you get away with it, where will it end?' Crap, my little videos, of which I own the images, will never make money so let me be.
The entertainment industry constantly bemoans the loss of revenue from piracy and quotes huge sums for this. It seems to be based on the fallacious assumption that if you hadn't bought a pirate copy, you would have bought an overpriced genuine one. That's crap too. They don't sell singles anymore, just albums and they are no different from the days before the Compact Cassette - 12 tracks of which 4 are good, two are acceptable and the rest not worth listening to.
Movies? Well the good ones make loads, piracy or not and the bummers sink as they deserve.
To listen to these copyright people, you could be forgiven for thinking that Whitney Houston, Take That, Microsoft and J K Rowling were on the breadline.
Fuck 'em, I ain't paying.
Monday 8 December 2008
Candles
Monday, December 8th, 2008
The flame and light from a candle is like no other. It gives me a really warm feeling.
For many years, they have been popular items for the home. This is not for the light they give but I guess for that same warm feeling. And of course there is always the fun and hilarity of blowing them out on the birthday cake.
They come in all shapes and sizes and colours; many are highly decorated and some have their own particular fragrant scents.
Much as I like them, I have been disappointed by many, notably the fat ones for they seem to burn at the centre leaving an ever deepening crater of unmelted wax around them. And if you are unlucky they will burn unevenly and the crater wall will break and hot wax will run everywhere. Others have wicks that just seem to give up the ghost before they are halfway used.
I don't expect some makers to care and here I am referring to those unwashed hippies in kaftans and sandles who set up some craft centre in the woods and eschew the trappings of civilisation - well apart from tourist money, electricity and many other of the benefits of modern day society. They just take your money and never bother to ask if you are into white slave trading or dumping toxic waste into the Thames.
But you would think that others could do better, especially those sweet middle class ladies in village craft centres selling pottery from Peru, place mats from India, cushions from Vietnam and the occasional jar of local jam. I jest of course; they don't give a damn either.
I don't know the science but it seems obvious that the wick is the core issue (pardon the pun). It needs to be big enough to last and to create a large enough flame to melt even the outer edge, albeit at a pace which preserves the concave bowl of molten wax. Some fat candles try to get around this by having multiple wicks. They don't always work.
Another area of potential development which has been neglected for ages. Much like dripless spouts I guess. No bugger has ever cracked them.
The flame and light from a candle is like no other. It gives me a really warm feeling.
For many years, they have been popular items for the home. This is not for the light they give but I guess for that same warm feeling. And of course there is always the fun and hilarity of blowing them out on the birthday cake.
They come in all shapes and sizes and colours; many are highly decorated and some have their own particular fragrant scents.
Much as I like them, I have been disappointed by many, notably the fat ones for they seem to burn at the centre leaving an ever deepening crater of unmelted wax around them. And if you are unlucky they will burn unevenly and the crater wall will break and hot wax will run everywhere. Others have wicks that just seem to give up the ghost before they are halfway used.
I don't expect some makers to care and here I am referring to those unwashed hippies in kaftans and sandles who set up some craft centre in the woods and eschew the trappings of civilisation - well apart from tourist money, electricity and many other of the benefits of modern day society. They just take your money and never bother to ask if you are into white slave trading or dumping toxic waste into the Thames.
But you would think that others could do better, especially those sweet middle class ladies in village craft centres selling pottery from Peru, place mats from India, cushions from Vietnam and the occasional jar of local jam. I jest of course; they don't give a damn either.
I don't know the science but it seems obvious that the wick is the core issue (pardon the pun). It needs to be big enough to last and to create a large enough flame to melt even the outer edge, albeit at a pace which preserves the concave bowl of molten wax. Some fat candles try to get around this by having multiple wicks. They don't always work.
Another area of potential development which has been neglected for ages. Much like dripless spouts I guess. No bugger has ever cracked them.
Sunday 7 December 2008
Low energy light bulbs
Sunday, December 7th, 2008
In the past few weeks I got 6 free ones of these: 2 were sent by my electricity company and 4 by my gas company. If you think the latter is strange, don't worry. Our utility companies sell everything from diapers to dung these days.
I got some sort of mail shot with them rambling on about saving energy and the planet. I find that strangely hypocritical - surely their whole business raison d'etre is about guzzling energy not saving it. So why do they do it? Well to kiss arse with the Government and be able to say, 'Hey look, we are helping.' Meanwhile, their prices rise inexorably regardless of the cost of their input fuel, much of which is oil based and for which the price has fallen enormously in the last 6 months. It's no wonder they can afford to send out free bloody light bulbs.
So what did they send me? Well in tungsten lamp terms, it was 2 x 40W, 2 x 60 W and 2 x75W. 40W? What fucking use is that except to warm a fish tank or a seed germinator? And of course that only applies to the traditional lamp. The low energy version would be bloody useless. 60W, I think I may use in the toilet but they say that the things last for 3 or 4 years so I am good for urinating until 2015 then. 75W - well I tried one on the landing and it shed enough light (after 15 minutes warming up) for me to see my way around. I should hate to drop something though and have to search the carpet for it. Better I wait until daylight.
Right now, so many organisations are running around like headless chickens trying to 'look green' and making empty futile gestures like this one. Time they built more atomic reactors and poured zillions into fusion for that is the way of tomorrow.
In the past few weeks I got 6 free ones of these: 2 were sent by my electricity company and 4 by my gas company. If you think the latter is strange, don't worry. Our utility companies sell everything from diapers to dung these days.
I got some sort of mail shot with them rambling on about saving energy and the planet. I find that strangely hypocritical - surely their whole business raison d'etre is about guzzling energy not saving it. So why do they do it? Well to kiss arse with the Government and be able to say, 'Hey look, we are helping.' Meanwhile, their prices rise inexorably regardless of the cost of their input fuel, much of which is oil based and for which the price has fallen enormously in the last 6 months. It's no wonder they can afford to send out free bloody light bulbs.
So what did they send me? Well in tungsten lamp terms, it was 2 x 40W, 2 x 60 W and 2 x75W. 40W? What fucking use is that except to warm a fish tank or a seed germinator? And of course that only applies to the traditional lamp. The low energy version would be bloody useless. 60W, I think I may use in the toilet but they say that the things last for 3 or 4 years so I am good for urinating until 2015 then. 75W - well I tried one on the landing and it shed enough light (after 15 minutes warming up) for me to see my way around. I should hate to drop something though and have to search the carpet for it. Better I wait until daylight.
Right now, so many organisations are running around like headless chickens trying to 'look green' and making empty futile gestures like this one. Time they built more atomic reactors and poured zillions into fusion for that is the way of tomorrow.
UNESCO World Heritage sites
Sunday, December 7th, 2008
I've been to several of these not because of the label but because many others said they were worth seeing. And so they have been apart from Stone Town, Zanzibar which actually doesn't need pulling down for it will fall down of its own accord pretty soon. As a list, it seems harmless enough.
However, today I read that the UK is thinking of stopping nominations for this status. It is said that UNESCO believes that we have our fair share of such sites at 24, so that would make the UK response like 'sour grapes'. What's this 'fair share' thing anyway? Another futile attempt at positive discrimination? Like, 'Sorry UK, nor more for you, you gotta let Vanuatu catch up.'
And then to my astonishment, I learn that it costs up to £400,000 to apply for this status and an average of £150,000/year to retain it. Well, that's turned me right off the whole idea. Waste of bloody money and guess some of that goes to those idle fat cats on the Hudson.
We have the internet and we have a plethora of travel books. We don't need UNESCO's listing.
Anyway, let's be nice. This is Ha Long Bay of the coast of North Vietnam. Hundreds of stunning limestone pinnacles set in the warm South China Sea. I thought it was quite beautiful.
I've been to several of these not because of the label but because many others said they were worth seeing. And so they have been apart from Stone Town, Zanzibar which actually doesn't need pulling down for it will fall down of its own accord pretty soon. As a list, it seems harmless enough.
However, today I read that the UK is thinking of stopping nominations for this status. It is said that UNESCO believes that we have our fair share of such sites at 24, so that would make the UK response like 'sour grapes'. What's this 'fair share' thing anyway? Another futile attempt at positive discrimination? Like, 'Sorry UK, nor more for you, you gotta let Vanuatu catch up.'
And then to my astonishment, I learn that it costs up to £400,000 to apply for this status and an average of £150,000/year to retain it. Well, that's turned me right off the whole idea. Waste of bloody money and guess some of that goes to those idle fat cats on the Hudson.
We have the internet and we have a plethora of travel books. We don't need UNESCO's listing.
Anyway, let's be nice. This is Ha Long Bay of the coast of North Vietnam. Hundreds of stunning limestone pinnacles set in the warm South China Sea. I thought it was quite beautiful.Boosting the British economy 2
Sunday, December 7th, 2008
Back in November, I said that the Government's measures to boost the economy were useless and the reduction in VAT, especially so. Surprise, surprise - research shown to top officials last week shows the whole package to have been a flop.
But these people never learn, do they? It is apparently all our fault. I quote from one Labour party strategist:
'All anyone seems to have noticed was the VAT cut, which they see as pointless. They don't understand what it was about.'
Well excuse me, I know full well what it was all about. It was stunt designed to cast the Labour Party in a good light so they could call an election in 2009 and have a fair chance of winning it. And if it wasn't, then the Chancellor is even more stupid than I thought him to be.
The cost of this futile VAT reduction is £12.5 billion pa which I calculate to be £270/head for everyone in Britain aged 20 or over. If that had been handed out in 3 x £90 vouchers with the proviso that it could not be spent on food, holidays, booze and ciggies, it might have had more impact. Actually, they could afford £317/head because they'd get the VAT back on this leaving a net cost of £270. Yeah I know there are practicalities but it's a thought.
Back in November, I said that the Government's measures to boost the economy were useless and the reduction in VAT, especially so. Surprise, surprise - research shown to top officials last week shows the whole package to have been a flop.
But these people never learn, do they? It is apparently all our fault. I quote from one Labour party strategist:
'All anyone seems to have noticed was the VAT cut, which they see as pointless. They don't understand what it was about.'
Well excuse me, I know full well what it was all about. It was stunt designed to cast the Labour Party in a good light so they could call an election in 2009 and have a fair chance of winning it. And if it wasn't, then the Chancellor is even more stupid than I thought him to be.
The cost of this futile VAT reduction is £12.5 billion pa which I calculate to be £270/head for everyone in Britain aged 20 or over. If that had been handed out in 3 x £90 vouchers with the proviso that it could not be spent on food, holidays, booze and ciggies, it might have had more impact. Actually, they could afford £317/head because they'd get the VAT back on this leaving a net cost of £270. Yeah I know there are practicalities but it's a thought.
Saturday 6 December 2008
Blaeu's 'The Grand Atlas of the 17th Century World'
Saturday, December 6th, 2008
In my last note I wrote about books. Now I wish to tell you of the most beautiful book I own. The name is in the title. It is without peer at least in my book collection. Vanessa gave it to me as a Christmas present.
The original version was published in 1662 and remains the largest atlas ever produced with over 600 maps. It was also the most expensive book sold in the 17th century. But all that does not matter to me.
My reproduction contains 100 maps and the fine print is so small that I need a magnifying glass. But, just like those maps in my first stamp album, I look and run my fingers over them, close my eyes and dream.
In my last note I wrote about books. Now I wish to tell you of the most beautiful book I own. The name is in the title. It is without peer at least in my book collection. Vanessa gave it to me as a Christmas present.
The original version was published in 1662 and remains the largest atlas ever produced with over 600 maps. It was also the most expensive book sold in the 17th century. But all that does not matter to me.
My reproduction contains 100 maps and the fine print is so small that I need a magnifying glass. But, just like those maps in my first stamp album, I look and run my fingers over them, close my eyes and dream.
Books
Saturday, December 6th, 2008
Love them. I don't know how many I have but they are everywhere. Yes a lot are neatly lined up on shelves and in bookcases but many others are on the floor, scattered on surfaces, stacked on chairs.... you can't move for books in this house.
Many years ago when in some nerdy mood, I had a stab at counting them. There were over 2,000 then so I guess by now , we have passed 3,000. I simply cannot resist buying them when they take my fancy. I doubt if fiction counts for more than 10%.
Have I read them all? Hell no! Some are not to be read from cover to cover but to be dipped in as the mood takes you. Others are to be read later. Some I may never get around to reading at all for others have taken priority. And , yes, I know this is a middle class chattering thing but a house without books is a desert.
Other people's bookshelves are a wonder to behold and give you a deep insight into the person you are dealing with. Many years ago, a friend of mine took me around to a mate of his, Howard. Howard had many books but his shelves confused me; there was a disturbing inconsistency that I could not fathom. Put simply, I could not understand, 'Why read that?' with 'Why read that?' - they don't fit. It's not a question of a 'Field Guide to Mushrooms' sitting next to 'War and Peace' it has something to do with patterns, I cannot explain it.
Later I gently questioned Howard on this and was relieved to find that his shelves were full of the books of two people - his own and those of his wife who had recently left him. Well that explained that.
And then of course we have the cookery book collection. Well for those that I know who bother to cook real food, they have a surfeit. So do I. I really never need to buy another cookery book in my life but I do cus there is always the 'wow' factor at a new recipe.
Just finished 'Nickel and Dimed,' aka 'On [Not] getting by in America.' Maybe, 'Constantinople' next - it has been a year since Nicole gave it to me.
Love them. I don't know how many I have but they are everywhere. Yes a lot are neatly lined up on shelves and in bookcases but many others are on the floor, scattered on surfaces, stacked on chairs.... you can't move for books in this house.
Many years ago when in some nerdy mood, I had a stab at counting them. There were over 2,000 then so I guess by now , we have passed 3,000. I simply cannot resist buying them when they take my fancy. I doubt if fiction counts for more than 10%.
Have I read them all? Hell no! Some are not to be read from cover to cover but to be dipped in as the mood takes you. Others are to be read later. Some I may never get around to reading at all for others have taken priority. And , yes, I know this is a middle class chattering thing but a house without books is a desert.
Other people's bookshelves are a wonder to behold and give you a deep insight into the person you are dealing with. Many years ago, a friend of mine took me around to a mate of his, Howard. Howard had many books but his shelves confused me; there was a disturbing inconsistency that I could not fathom. Put simply, I could not understand, 'Why read that?' with 'Why read that?' - they don't fit. It's not a question of a 'Field Guide to Mushrooms' sitting next to 'War and Peace' it has something to do with patterns, I cannot explain it.
Later I gently questioned Howard on this and was relieved to find that his shelves were full of the books of two people - his own and those of his wife who had recently left him. Well that explained that.
And then of course we have the cookery book collection. Well for those that I know who bother to cook real food, they have a surfeit. So do I. I really never need to buy another cookery book in my life but I do cus there is always the 'wow' factor at a new recipe.
Just finished 'Nickel and Dimed,' aka 'On [Not] getting by in America.' Maybe, 'Constantinople' next - it has been a year since Nicole gave it to me.
Insensitive teachers
Saturday, December 6th, 2008
I guess school teachers are far more aware today about social differences and the need to encourage children. Not so in my day. Three recollections come to mind although if pressed maybe I could fill a book with them.
Green ink. When I was about 7, I spent my pocket money on a bottle of green ink. No special reason, I just fancied something different. So when in class the following week I used it for an arithmetic exercise. Books were handed in for marking and then I was loudly called to the front of the class. Can't really remember what she said but it was something like , What's this? Why are you using green ink?' She behaved like I had shit on God and told me to write it out again in blue ink. The really sad feature of all this is that my arithmetical performance was of no importance. My failing was that I had dared to be different.
And again at primary school, the first exercise you got to do after you returned from the holidays was to write some essay like 'What I did in the holidays.' Can you imagine a more insensitive and intrusive question to a bunch of kids whose circumstances ranged from tolerably better off to downright poor? Nobody went abroad in those days but some went to the seaside and stayed in holiday camps so they had something to write about. Same with Christmas presents and the like. Me, I just played in the fields. Ian Phillips, a mate of mine, used to write every term, 'Dug a hole and fell in it.' It never got him into trouble. Wish I'd done the same.
And then on to the VIth form, which for those of you that don't know, it is for 16-18 year olds ideally in preparation for university. I chose science courses as my main subjects but still had to do a bit of English Literature with our Nazi headmaster in charge. One time we read, one of C.S. Forrester's Hornblower books - the adventures of a young lad in the Royal Navy at the turn of the 18th/19th century. Book read, the Beak than asked for opinions and Geoff Harrison (for whom I was best man, probably because he could not think of anybody else) commenced analysing it as though it pretended to be a piece of great literature and then he pissed on it. So I stood up and asked something to the effect of, 'What are you talking about? It's schoolboy yarn, that's all.' Got a withering look from the Beak and sat down.
The problem with many teachers, at all levels, is that they cannot resist the supplementary insult. You know the sort of thing. Teacher asks, 'What is the capital of Venezuela?' and young Sally says 'Brighton.' Then she gets, 'Caracas, you stupid child, will you never learn?' Of course she won't, for next time she will keep her mouth shut and spare herself the indignity and pain.
Try reading John Holt's 'How children fail,' published in 1964; it's a very slim book. Kids fail when people make it easier for them not to try. Open your mouth and get it wrong and you get a bollocking. Keep your gob shut and in a class of thirty, it will probably go unnoticed.
Looking at schools today, they seem more vibrant and involving and the relationship between teacher and child seems better than in my day. I do hope that it is not skin deep and that we have put all the shit I endured behind us.
I guess school teachers are far more aware today about social differences and the need to encourage children. Not so in my day. Three recollections come to mind although if pressed maybe I could fill a book with them.
Green ink. When I was about 7, I spent my pocket money on a bottle of green ink. No special reason, I just fancied something different. So when in class the following week I used it for an arithmetic exercise. Books were handed in for marking and then I was loudly called to the front of the class. Can't really remember what she said but it was something like , What's this? Why are you using green ink?' She behaved like I had shit on God and told me to write it out again in blue ink. The really sad feature of all this is that my arithmetical performance was of no importance. My failing was that I had dared to be different.
And again at primary school, the first exercise you got to do after you returned from the holidays was to write some essay like 'What I did in the holidays.' Can you imagine a more insensitive and intrusive question to a bunch of kids whose circumstances ranged from tolerably better off to downright poor? Nobody went abroad in those days but some went to the seaside and stayed in holiday camps so they had something to write about. Same with Christmas presents and the like. Me, I just played in the fields. Ian Phillips, a mate of mine, used to write every term, 'Dug a hole and fell in it.' It never got him into trouble. Wish I'd done the same.
And then on to the VIth form, which for those of you that don't know, it is for 16-18 year olds ideally in preparation for university. I chose science courses as my main subjects but still had to do a bit of English Literature with our Nazi headmaster in charge. One time we read, one of C.S. Forrester's Hornblower books - the adventures of a young lad in the Royal Navy at the turn of the 18th/19th century. Book read, the Beak than asked for opinions and Geoff Harrison (for whom I was best man, probably because he could not think of anybody else) commenced analysing it as though it pretended to be a piece of great literature and then he pissed on it. So I stood up and asked something to the effect of, 'What are you talking about? It's schoolboy yarn, that's all.' Got a withering look from the Beak and sat down.
The problem with many teachers, at all levels, is that they cannot resist the supplementary insult. You know the sort of thing. Teacher asks, 'What is the capital of Venezuela?' and young Sally says 'Brighton.' Then she gets, 'Caracas, you stupid child, will you never learn?' Of course she won't, for next time she will keep her mouth shut and spare herself the indignity and pain.
Try reading John Holt's 'How children fail,' published in 1964; it's a very slim book. Kids fail when people make it easier for them not to try. Open your mouth and get it wrong and you get a bollocking. Keep your gob shut and in a class of thirty, it will probably go unnoticed.
Looking at schools today, they seem more vibrant and involving and the relationship between teacher and child seems better than in my day. I do hope that it is not skin deep and that we have put all the shit I endured behind us.
Battle of Hastings
Saturday, December 6th, 2008
A reflection for you:
Anglo-Saxon? Were the Normans Anglo-Saxon? If so, then OK; if not, they will need to be added in. However, William of Normandy is said to be descended from a Dane called Rollo so that would count him in.
Dominates this world? No, not really. Islam doesn't seem to hold its values and China's position is questionable. But notice how many despots and dictators (even Putin) wish themselves to be portrayed as democratic even when they are not. Democracy still holds the moral heights.
However, I guess when it comes to the idea of democracy and basic freedom, then for all its faults, the West and many other countries in this world still strive to hold these values dear. Sure we had a long way to go after 1066 and much blood was spilt on the road as we progessed. I am sure that Britain was unhappy with the American War of Independence but they were only doing what we would have done in similar circumstances. Same goes for the Irish fight for independence and Kenya and the rest. I got no quibble with any of them although I'd like to have done away with the bloodshed.
Marx evolved his ideas in London and remains buried in Highgate Cemetary. Would he even have been allowed to write his stuff elsewhere? You may well ask - Paris maybe (but they were stoned on absinthe at the time), Vienna even but he chose London where you can pretty much write what you want apart from an assassination plot on the Queen or an assault on the London Eye.
Will Chinese values inherit the world? I doubt it for all the peace and philosophy of their ancient culture. They have lost it now. Islam? No fucking chance. If Olduvai is the cradle of mankind, then Sumer is the cradle of civilisation and for millennia, the Arab world led the way. I could ramble on about them but I might get a visit from al Qaeda.
Democracy was not born at Hastings of course. The Greeks seemed to be rather fond of it but were too busy writing poetry and fornicating with boys so they never let it out of the Mediterranean. Hastings paved the way and, after writing all this crap, that is really all I wanted to say.
A reflection for you:
301. Some historians have said that the Battle of Hastings was the most important battle in human history. (Here I borrow in part and add my own thoughts). It created a unified nation state and led to an Anglo-Saxon hegemony greater than even Rome and one, which eventually dominated this world in its values to this day. It will be interesting to see if Asia can manage the same over the next 1,000 years.
I have thought about this more since I wrote those words about a year ago.Anglo-Saxon? Were the Normans Anglo-Saxon? If so, then OK; if not, they will need to be added in. However, William of Normandy is said to be descended from a Dane called Rollo so that would count him in.
Dominates this world? No, not really. Islam doesn't seem to hold its values and China's position is questionable. But notice how many despots and dictators (even Putin) wish themselves to be portrayed as democratic even when they are not. Democracy still holds the moral heights.
However, I guess when it comes to the idea of democracy and basic freedom, then for all its faults, the West and many other countries in this world still strive to hold these values dear. Sure we had a long way to go after 1066 and much blood was spilt on the road as we progessed. I am sure that Britain was unhappy with the American War of Independence but they were only doing what we would have done in similar circumstances. Same goes for the Irish fight for independence and Kenya and the rest. I got no quibble with any of them although I'd like to have done away with the bloodshed.
Marx evolved his ideas in London and remains buried in Highgate Cemetary. Would he even have been allowed to write his stuff elsewhere? You may well ask - Paris maybe (but they were stoned on absinthe at the time), Vienna even but he chose London where you can pretty much write what you want apart from an assassination plot on the Queen or an assault on the London Eye.
Will Chinese values inherit the world? I doubt it for all the peace and philosophy of their ancient culture. They have lost it now. Islam? No fucking chance. If Olduvai is the cradle of mankind, then Sumer is the cradle of civilisation and for millennia, the Arab world led the way. I could ramble on about them but I might get a visit from al Qaeda.
Democracy was not born at Hastings of course. The Greeks seemed to be rather fond of it but were too busy writing poetry and fornicating with boys so they never let it out of the Mediterranean. Hastings paved the way and, after writing all this crap, that is really all I wanted to say.
Welsh lamb
Saturday, December 6th, 2008
I ordered a saddle of lamb today which will be the basis of the Christmas dinner I shall have with my son and his family. Only ever had one before in my life and it was fabulous. It is the finest cut of lamb that you can buy. And in my opinion, there is no finer meat than lamb.
And this is going to be Welsh lamb and that is simply the best. Is it organic, you may ask? I don't really know for they may have been put through sheep dip. What I do know is that it is not intensively reared, fed on grain pellets or given antibiotic injections. No, these little buggers wander the hills and mountains all summer just feeding on grass and other natural vegetation.
I know this will be good.
I ordered a saddle of lamb today which will be the basis of the Christmas dinner I shall have with my son and his family. Only ever had one before in my life and it was fabulous. It is the finest cut of lamb that you can buy. And in my opinion, there is no finer meat than lamb.
And this is going to be Welsh lamb and that is simply the best. Is it organic, you may ask? I don't really know for they may have been put through sheep dip. What I do know is that it is not intensively reared, fed on grain pellets or given antibiotic injections. No, these little buggers wander the hills and mountains all summer just feeding on grass and other natural vegetation.
I know this will be good.
MV Ushuaia
Saturday, December 6th, 2008
The Ushuaia is a former US research ship
now converted for adventure cruising in polar regions. She is not very big, around 2,300 tons, but she is ice strengthened and has been doing polar regions, north and south since 2003. The pic shows her leaving the port of Ushuaia for the Antarctic. My ship, Akademik Sergey Vavilov is much bigger at 6,500 tons and being built originally for spying, she is very quiet and pretty safe. However, even the Vavilov looks tiny in that vast landscape.
Yesterday Ushuaia ran aground in Wilhelmina Bay on the Antarctic Peninsula, no doubt looking for humpback whales which can be common there. She was holed in two fuel tanks although the leakage is small, the passengers were taken off by another ship for safety. Fortunately, Ushuaia and Vavilov and other small ships like them use Marine Gas Oil (MGO) as fuel. It is quite light as fuel oils go and low in sulphur.
Regrettably, the understandable appeal of Antarctica has drawn in the cruise ships and currently the largest one operating down there, Golden Princess, weighs 119,000 tons and uses that treacle like goop, heavy fuel oil. You have all seen what that does to marine wild life and ships like that are not even ice strengthened.
I would not wish to deny anyone the experience of seeing this utterly beautiful continent but it is our last true wilderness and it must be kept as such. I left no mark there, nothing at all. I even went scurrying along the shore in a blizzard on Deception Island to recapture a tiny little plastic sleeve (for a camera memory card) that I dropped. To be honest, I'd never have bothered at home.
So what should IAATO do? Well, let's limit ship size for a start and insist on MGO. Maybe we should demand ice strengthening as well.
The Ushuaia is a former US research shipnow converted for adventure cruising in polar regions. She is not very big, around 2,300 tons, but she is ice strengthened and has been doing polar regions, north and south since 2003. The pic shows her leaving the port of Ushuaia for the Antarctic. My ship, Akademik Sergey Vavilov is much bigger at 6,500 tons and being built originally for spying, she is very quiet and pretty safe. However, even the Vavilov looks tiny in that vast landscape.
Yesterday Ushuaia ran aground in Wilhelmina Bay on the Antarctic Peninsula, no doubt looking for humpback whales which can be common there. She was holed in two fuel tanks although the leakage is small, the passengers were taken off by another ship for safety. Fortunately, Ushuaia and Vavilov and other small ships like them use Marine Gas Oil (MGO) as fuel. It is quite light as fuel oils go and low in sulphur.
Regrettably, the understandable appeal of Antarctica has drawn in the cruise ships and currently the largest one operating down there, Golden Princess, weighs 119,000 tons and uses that treacle like goop, heavy fuel oil. You have all seen what that does to marine wild life and ships like that are not even ice strengthened.
I would not wish to deny anyone the experience of seeing this utterly beautiful continent but it is our last true wilderness and it must be kept as such. I left no mark there, nothing at all. I even went scurrying along the shore in a blizzard on Deception Island to recapture a tiny little plastic sleeve (for a camera memory card) that I dropped. To be honest, I'd never have bothered at home.
So what should IAATO do? Well, let's limit ship size for a start and insist on MGO. Maybe we should demand ice strengthening as well.
Friday 5 December 2008
Sainsbury's Book of Food
Friday, December 5th, 2008
I bought this book around 1990. It was published by Sainsbury's, one of our biggest supermarkets and the author is Frances Bissell, a cookery writer of some repute. It is probably the finest food book I have ever seen.
It is NOT a cookery book although there are cooking hints and useful guides to deboning meat and preparing shell fish and the like. It is simply a guide to food although in saying that I am understating its span and compass. In just 280 or so pages, which are well illustrated, it describes all manner of the food you can buy and what you can do with it. Coverage extends from vegetables through spices, meat, fish, rice, coffee and the list goes on and on. Oh sure I think I know a lot about fish but I didn't know there were so many noodles or cooking fats or whatever. She doesn't list every cheese on the planet - who could? - but the selection is pretty comprehensive. There are 7 pages on sausages alone.
This is a 'must have' book if you are serious about food. It's out of print so you are only going to buy it on the Internet and then you are going to have to pay a darn sight more than I did. No matter, you will find it is worth every penny. A quite magical book.
I bought this book around 1990. It was published by Sainsbury's, one of our biggest supermarkets and the author is Frances Bissell, a cookery writer of some repute. It is probably the finest food book I have ever seen.
It is NOT a cookery book although there are cooking hints and useful guides to deboning meat and preparing shell fish and the like. It is simply a guide to food although in saying that I am understating its span and compass. In just 280 or so pages, which are well illustrated, it describes all manner of the food you can buy and what you can do with it. Coverage extends from vegetables through spices, meat, fish, rice, coffee and the list goes on and on. Oh sure I think I know a lot about fish but I didn't know there were so many noodles or cooking fats or whatever. She doesn't list every cheese on the planet - who could? - but the selection is pretty comprehensive. There are 7 pages on sausages alone.
This is a 'must have' book if you are serious about food. It's out of print so you are only going to buy it on the Internet and then you are going to have to pay a darn sight more than I did. No matter, you will find it is worth every penny. A quite magical book.
Thursday 4 December 2008
The Queen's Speech 2008
Thursday, December 4th, 2008
By tradition, the monarch makes a speech at the opening of a new session of Parliament at this time of year. She doesn't write it, she is merely a puppet for the government of the day but she get's the chance to wear the Imperial State Crown which I do like. It has some fabulous rocks in it including the Black Prince's Ruby and the second largest piece cut off the Cullinan Diamond. But I digress.
The main feature of the speech is an outline of legislation to be introduced in the forthcoming session. Here's my take on some of them:
Banking - The Bank of England is to be allowed to loan money anonymously short term to other banks in trouble. OK, that might stop a short term run on the bank but I don't like it. Are there limits and what is short term?
Low income savers - Well actually they mean people on benefits and tax credits, around 8 million or so. The government will match their savings one for one up to a monthly limit of £12.50.
And I am wondering - if you save the money in one month , get the government's matching funding and then withdraw it the next, do you have give the government their money back? This could be interesting. Save £12.50 in January and get the government's £12.50. Take the 25 quid out in February and bung back £12.50 of it and get another £12.50 and so on.
They actually say they mean to 'kick start' the saving habit. Really? They must be living on the planet Zob. Waste of bloody time!
Policing and crime - This is all about restricting lap dancing clubs and making it a criminal offence to pick up a prostitute who is being pimped whether the client knows it or not. Already posted my views on this.
Worryingly, it will allow officers to take fingerprints on the beat. Oh, no, no, no. They should only be allowed to take my dabs with my consent or if I have been charged with a criminal offence and in either case, in the presence of witnesses. This is 'Police State' stuff.
Immigrants - The automatic right to remain in Britain after 5 years residence is to be withdrawn. Those who can demonstrate English language ability and have worked legally, paid taxes and have no criminal record get the right after 6 years but only if they have done voluntary work as well. If they haven't done the latter, they have to wait 8 years. Not unreasonable I thought apart from the 'voluntary work' bit. That requirement would exclude the majority of native born people here.
Those who come to Britain because of family links will have to go if the relationship ceases. Seems OK and it would hit all that 'arranged marriage' crap. But what if your granny dies after 3 years? Shouldn't you be given the chance to carry on if every other aspect is OK?
Maybe we should apply these rules to the locals as well so that you have to reconfirm your right to stay here every 6 years. The good thing about this is that so many tow-rags would not qualify so we could send them abroad. Australia still has plenty of space.
Welfare reform - Basically, if you ain't sick, you get nothing unless you are seen to be actively looking for a job. You also have to contract to go on retraining courses and parenting classes where appropriate. The latter seems an OK idea in principle but I suspect it would be a waste of money.
They also plan to introduce lie detector tests on benefit claimants to crack down on fraud. No doubt they will appoint a Lie Detector Director with a name like Josef Stalin or Heinrich Himmler.
Health - A load of waffle about patient rights and hospital performance.
The idea of banning cigarette displays in shops in still under review and nothing was said about removing branding and selling all ciggies in plain white packs. The whole idea is plain barmy. 'Psst, gov, got any ciggies, like a pack of Dunhill?' 'Sure, I got ciggies, but I have no fucking idea what brand they are.'
Child poverty - The government's stated objective to eradicate child poverty by 2020 is to be legally binding. On who, I may ask? And where are the detailed plans to achieve this? Nowhere.
The triumph of hope over experience.
Coastal access - People to be given the right to walk all around the coast of England. Well, first if my garden bordered the coast, I wouldn't want just anyone wandering through the rose bed on the cliff top. And how far back does this 'coast' go? 1 metre? 50 metres? No mention of that.
Unnecessary.
Education - Local authorities to be required to intervene in 'underperforming schools.' I gasped at this. Surely, they should have had a duty to do this for years.
Local democracy - In amongst the waffle, councils are to be forced to respond to petitions. Waste of bloody time. If you take your petition down town at the weekend, you can get thousands of signatures from people who know bugger all about your cause and care even less. Only reason I ever organised one was to get some publicity; I knew the council wouldn't give a shit.
My advice to councils would be to buy a rubber stamp bearing the words, 'Fuck off,' stamp it on the petition and return to sender.
There is more but you are probably bored right now and so am I. There's some good and some bad in this list but one factor is missing and, that factor is missing is all Queen's Speeches. You never hear about restrictions and laws being withdrawn, do you? That would be too much to hope for.
By tradition, the monarch makes a speech at the opening of a new session of Parliament at this time of year. She doesn't write it, she is merely a puppet for the government of the day but she get's the chance to wear the Imperial State Crown which I do like. It has some fabulous rocks in it including the Black Prince's Ruby and the second largest piece cut off the Cullinan Diamond. But I digress.
The main feature of the speech is an outline of legislation to be introduced in the forthcoming session. Here's my take on some of them:
Banking - The Bank of England is to be allowed to loan money anonymously short term to other banks in trouble. OK, that might stop a short term run on the bank but I don't like it. Are there limits and what is short term?
Low income savers - Well actually they mean people on benefits and tax credits, around 8 million or so. The government will match their savings one for one up to a monthly limit of £12.50.
And I am wondering - if you save the money in one month , get the government's matching funding and then withdraw it the next, do you have give the government their money back? This could be interesting. Save £12.50 in January and get the government's £12.50. Take the 25 quid out in February and bung back £12.50 of it and get another £12.50 and so on.
They actually say they mean to 'kick start' the saving habit. Really? They must be living on the planet Zob. Waste of bloody time!
Policing and crime - This is all about restricting lap dancing clubs and making it a criminal offence to pick up a prostitute who is being pimped whether the client knows it or not. Already posted my views on this.
Worryingly, it will allow officers to take fingerprints on the beat. Oh, no, no, no. They should only be allowed to take my dabs with my consent or if I have been charged with a criminal offence and in either case, in the presence of witnesses. This is 'Police State' stuff.
Immigrants - The automatic right to remain in Britain after 5 years residence is to be withdrawn. Those who can demonstrate English language ability and have worked legally, paid taxes and have no criminal record get the right after 6 years but only if they have done voluntary work as well. If they haven't done the latter, they have to wait 8 years. Not unreasonable I thought apart from the 'voluntary work' bit. That requirement would exclude the majority of native born people here.
Those who come to Britain because of family links will have to go if the relationship ceases. Seems OK and it would hit all that 'arranged marriage' crap. But what if your granny dies after 3 years? Shouldn't you be given the chance to carry on if every other aspect is OK?
Maybe we should apply these rules to the locals as well so that you have to reconfirm your right to stay here every 6 years. The good thing about this is that so many tow-rags would not qualify so we could send them abroad. Australia still has plenty of space.
Welfare reform - Basically, if you ain't sick, you get nothing unless you are seen to be actively looking for a job. You also have to contract to go on retraining courses and parenting classes where appropriate. The latter seems an OK idea in principle but I suspect it would be a waste of money.
They also plan to introduce lie detector tests on benefit claimants to crack down on fraud. No doubt they will appoint a Lie Detector Director with a name like Josef Stalin or Heinrich Himmler.
Health - A load of waffle about patient rights and hospital performance.
The idea of banning cigarette displays in shops in still under review and nothing was said about removing branding and selling all ciggies in plain white packs. The whole idea is plain barmy. 'Psst, gov, got any ciggies, like a pack of Dunhill?' 'Sure, I got ciggies, but I have no fucking idea what brand they are.'
Child poverty - The government's stated objective to eradicate child poverty by 2020 is to be legally binding. On who, I may ask? And where are the detailed plans to achieve this? Nowhere.
The triumph of hope over experience.
Coastal access - People to be given the right to walk all around the coast of England. Well, first if my garden bordered the coast, I wouldn't want just anyone wandering through the rose bed on the cliff top. And how far back does this 'coast' go? 1 metre? 50 metres? No mention of that.
Unnecessary.
Education - Local authorities to be required to intervene in 'underperforming schools.' I gasped at this. Surely, they should have had a duty to do this for years.
Local democracy - In amongst the waffle, councils are to be forced to respond to petitions. Waste of bloody time. If you take your petition down town at the weekend, you can get thousands of signatures from people who know bugger all about your cause and care even less. Only reason I ever organised one was to get some publicity; I knew the council wouldn't give a shit.
My advice to councils would be to buy a rubber stamp bearing the words, 'Fuck off,' stamp it on the petition and return to sender.
There is more but you are probably bored right now and so am I. There's some good and some bad in this list but one factor is missing and, that factor is missing is all Queen's Speeches. You never hear about restrictions and laws being withdrawn, do you? That would be too much to hope for.
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