Supermarkets seem to bring out the worst in kids, Much as I love children, I could cheerfully slaughter many of the little bastards who haunt our shopping aisles. Yes I know I should address my anger to their parents but I still have the urge to maim one of the little shits. As they rush around I sincerely hope that one of the little fuckers will crash into that huge stack of Heinz Baked Beans tins or better still a pile of wine glasses. And all the while some simpering mother will quietly say, 'Don't do that darling.' Not dissimilar to what we said to Hitler over the invasion of the Sudentenland and look where that got us.
Occasionally God intervenes and it's nice. Last year I was 2nd in the queue at the check out in Tesco's. Mom puts one item in shopping bag and the little sod runs off to climb the windows. Mom goes off and grabs him. 2nd item in the shopping bag and he's gone again. Repeat. And so on and so on 4 times. At the 5th escapade, mom dragged him back and he smacked his head against the check-out. Crashed to the floor and wept but at least we got on with our shopping.
My friend Gillian had the right idea. When Catherine or was it Jonathan lay on the floor of Marks & Spencer's Banbury screaming, she took the child's ankle and dragged him/her across the floor and out into the street.
1 comment:
When my son was very young, he would sometimes wander off on his own tangent in a supermarket. I'd warn him about it & tell him it was wrong, but like all kids, he chose to push the issue. One time, I saw him wander off & left him to it. I knew where he was & kept a discreet eye on him, but it wasn't long before there was announcement over the PA asking for this little boys mummy to please collect him at information, as he was 'lost'.
He got a bollocking & a whack for his troubles. He never did it again.
I was a cruel mother!
LMAO
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