Assemblies of government

I am talking here about governement assemblies, plenary sessions. You know the ones where they all get together - House of Commons, European Parliament, House of Congress - in the spirit of democracy with the intention of debating issues for the public good. They talk for hours at times but little or nothing changes the outcome for that is decided by the majority of the government of the day.

You get local interest questions like, 'Will the Minister comment on the need for better child care facilities in Doncaster?' He answers politely but in your heart you know he doesn't give a shit about Doncaster, its kids, its people or anything else in Doncaster. Why should he? It's solid Labour and as a Conservative, he knows that nothing he says will change the vote.

Then you get some other bloody idiot (only really interested in getting her question in the local newspaper) asking the Prime Minister what he is doing about new bus stops in Barnsley. He answers politely but in his mind, he thinks, 'Fuck all.'

Bottom line is that politicians should only pay attention to marginals. Fuck the rest.

Nowadays we get hypocrisy in the House of Commons about Afghanistan which is sickening. Prime Minister - 'First let me express my sincere condolences to the family of Lance Corporal Harry Williams, tragically killed yesterday by a land mine.' Widespread nods from all parties none of whom know bugger all about Harry Williams or his family. No one dares to stand up and say, 'Get the fuck out of Afghanistan and leave the bastards to kill each other.'

And that's the point really, it has all got rather too genteel. Not only that but the vast majority of Parliament are passengers seeking to appease their constituencies and with no great involvement with the world at large. I see little evidence of a desire to change the wider world for the better.

We need to go back a couple of centuries when Parliamentary members spoke their mind. This was something I always encouraged in Management meetings. Let's have more of this:

Bollocks
Absolute fucking crap
Talking through your arse
Cunt face
Shit on you

Maybe we could do with a little violence too. Nothing too harmful but a bit of shoe throwing wouldn't come amiss.

But it won't change will it? And that is why I am not in politics

My earliest memories

These are obviously very vague but I think they are true because when I recounted them to my mother in later years, she said I was probably right. So here goes:

1. It is dark and I am outside in my pram. There are bright lights and fire crackling but I am OK. My mother says it was the street bonfire party for VE Day so that makes me just less than one year old. She said she pushed the pram into someone's garden.

2. It is dark but I can see the glow of the fire. I am wet and uncomfortable but no one is around. My mom says that would have been the cast iron cooking range and maybe my nappy was wet.

I can see these faint images even now.